


Road Trip 2: Back to the Badlands

by EnthusiasticFish



Series: Road Trip [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Gen, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29324640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnthusiasticFish/pseuds/EnthusiasticFish
Summary: Tim and Tony take another road trip after Tony returns from Israel (in season 11). This time Tim is the instigator and is trying to help Tony.
Series: Road Trip [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150025
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Back to the Badlands  
** by Enthusiastic Fish

**Chapter 1**

Tim looked around the bullpen. No one was there but Gibbs...and him, of course. He glanced at the desk where Ziva had been. It stood empty. He looked over at Tony's desk. Tony was back now...but he was withdrawn, depressed. He had tried to get Ziva back, and she had said no. He didn't talk about it, but it was obvious, given that she wasn't there.

Finally, Tim screwed up his courage and walked over to Gibbs' desk.

"Boss?" he asked.

For just a moment, Gibbs didn't reply.

"Boss?" Tim asked again.

Gibbs looked up at him, his expression giving nothing away about what he'd been contemplating. He silently raised an eyebrow.

"I want to request some leave time. For me...and for Tony."

"Both of you?"

"Yeah."

"Does Tony know about this?"

Tim smiled a little. "Not yet."

"Why?"

"To...return a favor."

The eyebrow went up again.

"When I was all screwed up by what happened with Dearing...Tony stepped up and basically forced me to get help. He got me to talk about what was wrong. He...he went above and beyond the call of duty to help me figure things out. He's the one who needs the help now, Boss."

The eyebrow stayed up.

"It's not that I think he's as bad as I was. I was two seconds away from self-destructing. He's not...but I think it would help if he could get his mind on other things. Stupid tourist things, like he did for me."

"Do you think it will help?"

"I don't think it will hurt...but I know that will be...basically taking the entire team out of commission. ...without Ziva."

Gibbs was quiet for a few seconds.

"How long?"

"A week? Two weeks at most?"

"What are you going to do?"

"A road trip. Tony wanted to go back to the Badlands and see it without someone crazy ruining everything," Tim said self-deprecatingly. "With everything that happened, we never did go back there...and I know there are a lot of things to see on the way. We won't have to duplicate anything, even, unless he wants to."

"You think he'll say yes?"

"If we have permission," Tim said, hoping he was right. He didn't want to have to _convince_ Tony that this was the best idea. He didn't really even know if it was.

Another long pause. Tim wondered what was going through Gibbs' mind because he had no idea. They'd all been thrown for a loop by Ziva's vanishing act...but she'd at least _talked_ to Gibbs. Tim hadn't even had the chance to say good-bye, really. She was just gone. Tony had seen her when she had decided to cut off ties with NCIS. Was it for good? Did anyone know? Did Ziva even know?

"Do we?" he asked.

Gibbs looked at him for one more long moment and then nodded.

"Go ahead."

"Thanks, Boss," Tim said.

"Better make sure Tony agrees."

Tim grinned.

"I will."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim stood outside Tony's apartment. He hadn't had a chance to grab Tony at the end of the work day. He'd slipped out too quickly.

Now that the time had come to present his brilliant plan, Tim was worried. What if Tony thought this was the stupidest thing since Tim's own breakdown? What if Tony resented Tim worrying about him? What if Tim had read Tony all wrong and he just was tired from everything that had happened? What if it was just jetlag and Tim was seeing something that wasn't there?

What if he refused?

Tim didn't get the chance to try and be helpful to Tony very often. Tony didn't allow it, and it made Tim more than a little nervous to take this on. It wasn't that he didn't want to do this. It was that he didn't know if he should be making the suggestion. He didn't know if Tony would appreciate it at all. It made him really nervous.

Still, he really liked the idea and he really hoped that Tony would be willing...and that he'd have fun, too.

He took a breath and knocked.

Then, he knocked again.

Then, he heard movement on the other side of the door.

"Tony?"

The lock turned and the door opened.

Tony didn't look too happy to see Tim standing there, and Tim's courage almost failed him.

"Hey, Tony," he said.

"Hey, Tim. What's up?"

"Am I interrupting?"

Tony smiled a little.

"No. Nothing important. Come on in."

"Thanks."

Tim walked in and was relieved that he didn't see any sign of Tony drinking. He wasn't sure he would have known what to do about that.

Still, Tony being so...bland was disconcerting. Tim perched awkwardly on a couch.

"What's up, Tim?"

"I was thinking..."

"Am I supposed to be surprised by that?" Tony asked with a smile, a shadow of his usual cheeky grin.

"Probably not," Tim said, smiling back. "And I was thinking that...you might want a vacation."

"I was already in Israel for quite a while. Wasn't even working."

"Are you going to claim that was a vacation?"

Tony sighed. "No. I'm not. ...but I have been gone for quite a while. Probably shouldn't be taking more time off."

"I cleared it with Gibbs."

"You cleared _what_ with Gibbs?"

"You and I going on a...road trip."

Tony laughed incredulously. "What?"

"A road trip. I asked Gibbs about it today."

"Before you'd talked to me?"

"I wasn't sure he'd agree. The whole team will be gone...you know. Now."

"Yeah, I know. But he said yes?"

Tim nodded. Now came the real question.

"Do you want to?"

"Oh, I get a choice?" Tony asked, but it wasn't pointed.

"Yes...even if you didn't give _me_ a choice the last time."

"Last time?"

"The last road trip."

Then, there was a glint of comprehension in Tony's eyes.

"Oh, I see."

"Do you want to go?"

"Where?"

"I figured we could plan it."

"It's a road trip. You're not supposed to plan. It's supposed to be spontaneous."

"Even a road trip can have _some_ planning."

"I guess."

"I thought we could go back to the Badlands...you know, so you could see them and have fun...unlike last time."

Tony gave an understanding smile.

"I don't resent that, Tim. I really don't."

"I know you don't, but you gave up a lot for that. It was such a bad vacation for you that you had to take another vacation after...just to recover from it. I still owe you for that."

"No, you don't. I wasn't taking you because I was going on a vacation. I was trying to help."

"Yeah," Tim said. "Exactly."

Neither of them addressed what exactly Tim was trying to help _with_.

"So...you want to end at the Badlands?" Tony asked.

"I figured that would be a good place. That's as far as we went last time."

Tony shook his head.

"No."

"Okay," Tim said, feeling his heart sink. His great idea had...

"We can't stop at the same place we stopped last time," Tony said, almost grinning like he used to. "A good road trip can't replicate another road trip. It has to be different!"

Tim smiled, feeling better. "So you want to go?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do, Probie. This time, though, we're not going to Wall Drug and we're not going to go back the same way we came. We're going to make a loop...or a zig zag...or whatever. We're not covering the same ground."

"So you don't want to go to the Badlands?"

"Oh, I want to go there, but we're not taking a direct route. You're going to regret suggesting this, Tim."

Tim smiled. "I'm okay with that."

"When are we going to do this?"

"When we're ready. We will have to give enough notice to HR. They're mean in there. I'm not getting on their bad side."

Tony actually laughed...for about the first time since he'd come back.

"Okay, okay. We'll plan a _little_ bit. Not too much."

"Deal," Tim said.

Maybe this would work out like he wanted it to, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Two weeks later..._

"Tony, if we do all of this, we'll be driving over 4,000 miles!" Tim said.

"Yep. Perfect road trip. Days and days of driving to get to ridiculous stops. I'm all for it," Tony said.

Tim raised an eyebrow. Tony had been quickly back to his old self since they'd started looking at places to stop. He was suspicious that Tony was just covering, but he was also still worried that Tony didn't really want to do this and was just humoring Tim because he felt bad for Tim wanting to help. All in all, it was easier just to take Tony's current behavior at face value. He wasn't sure whether or not he should try to bring up Ziva and her...departure. It had clearly affected Tony deeply and he hadn't really been willing to talk about it much. Tim wished he would because he himself was missing Ziva. She hadn't spoken to him at all. She had talked to Gibbs. She had talked to Tony (although it hadn't made Tony particularly happy), but Tim wished that Ziva had at least said good-bye.

"Well?" Tony asked.

"I made the list, Tony, but I really think that if we're going to do this, we need to cut out Amarillo, Texas. HR has put definite limits on how much time we can take off and I think dipping down that way will take too much time."

"All right. I'm fine with that. As long as we go to the Badlands."

Tim smiled. "I wouldn't dream of cutting that out. I actually...don't really remember a lot of it."

"You don't?"

Tim shrugged awkwardly. He didn't tend to make references to that period at this point. It was still a little embarrassing to him that he'd managed to break down so thoroughly that he had to spend time in a psychiatric hospital.

"I wasn't sleeping. My mind was...so messed up. I remember things, but it's almost like you remember dreams. So...I'm happy to see the Badlands when I'm not nuts."

"You weren't nuts."

"Yeah, I was...but I'm better now," Tim said. He forced a smile and looked back at their list. "So are you really okay with cutting out Amarillo?"

"Yeah, I'm fine with that. ...but we're not planning anything more. A basic idea is all I'm letting you have. Otherwise, you'll start regretting it and I don't want that to happen until it's too late to turn back."

Tim laughed.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

_Two days later..._

"Are you ready to go road-tripping, Tim?" Abby asked. "You're leaving tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

Abby furrowed her brow at him.

"You don't sound very excited."

"I'm worried," Tim confessed.

"Why? You're the one who thought of it, and Tony's actually been acting like Tony again!"

"Yeah...that's why I'm worried."

"What?"

"What if it _is_ just an act? What if he's just pretending to be excited? And what if he's just _acting_ like himself because he thinks he should? Maybe I should have just let him deal with everything how he wanted to. Maybe it was a big mistake."

"Tim...did you ever think that maybe he _is_ dealing with it how he wants to?"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that you made an offer and he was glad you did so that he could deal with things...away from here."

Tim laughed self-consciously. "I don't know why I'm so worried, Abby."

"Because the last time you did something like this it was when _you_ were the one needing the help?"

Tim flushed a little.

"Maybe."

Abby hugged him.

"Tim, it doesn't matter to any of us! We're glad that you're back to normal and _have_ been back to normal for more than a year! It's all good. Just relax!"

"Maybe once we actually go. I've never done this before...tried to help him with things. He doesn't usually seem to want it. ...at least, he doesn't want _my_ help."

"Well, focus on having _fun_! That will help more than worrying about helping will help. Where are you going first?"

"Wilmington, Ohio."

"What's _there_?"

Tim grinned. "The world's largest skateboard. Well, it was the largest in 2008. I don't know if it still is."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Apparently, it takes twelve people to ride it."

"You guys are so weird," Abby said, laughing. "You'll have a lot of fun, Tim! ...if you let yourself. Just don't worry so much!"

"Yeah. I'll work on that."

"No! Don't work. Just be."

Tim smiled. "I'll work on that."

Abby scrunched up her nose at him. "Okay. Since you're not leaving until tomorrow, you can help me break through this firewall. It's making me cranky."

"And we can't have that, can we," Tim said.

"No. We can't."

They smiled and focused on their work.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

_The next morning..._

Tony waited for Tim to come by. He had insisted on using his car, even though Tony had offered his own. It seemed that Tim was bound and determined to take all this on. In a way, it was funny how seriously Tim was taking something that should be just silly fun. However, Tony could feel the undercurrent of the serious stuff beneath it all.

In reality, Tony just wanted to forget about all that for a while. At NCIS, he was always sitting across from her desk...and at this point, he couldn't even figure out exactly how he felt about it. He wondered if Tim would try to make him talk about it. He really hoped not, but he thought that Tim probably would. That's the way he was. He wanted to try to make things better. Tony could see it in the tentative way Tim had asked if Tony wanted to go on the road trip.

Maybe Tony could get Tim to relax and just go with the flow a little bit.

That way he himself would have more fun.

He looked at his watch and grabbed his bag. He had no doubt that Tim would be down there right when he said.

Sure enough, as soon as he stepped out the door onto the front stoop, there was Tim pulling into a space. He got out and then smiled.

"Right on time," he said.

"There's no _on time_ on a road trip, Probie," Tony said.

"You keep saying that, but there _is_ some concept of being on time. Such as...if we're not on time getting back, we will face the wrath of HR, and maybe even Gibbs."

Tony grinned.

"Well, we wouldn't want _that_."

He walked over and slung his bag into the trunk.

"You sure about giving your car over to this good cause?"

"Positive. It has to be my car."

"Why?"

Tim smiled mischievously. "You'll see."

"Okay. Who's driving first? And are you going to let _me_ drive your car?"

"I'll drive first and you'd better believe that I'm letting you drive. We're going over 4,000 miles on this trip. No way am I driving every single one of them."

"It's good for you. Builds character."

"I'll build my character some other way."

The banter seemed a little forced, but Tony would take that over _serious_ conversations. He nodded and got in on the passenger side.

"Breakfast?" he asked, pointing to the coffees and the bag on the seat.

"Figured we could eat on the road most of the time. Might as well start out that way."

"You're learning, Probie," Tony said. He shifted the bag to the floor, smelled the coffees and figured out which one was his. Tim got in.

"Ready for Wilmington, Ohio?" he asked.

"Bring on the big skateboard," Tony said.

Tim put the car in gear and they started on their way.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

_Eight hours later..._

"You have got to be _kidding_ me!" Tony said as they reluctantly gave up on their search. "Where in the name of Ned could they hide a 31-foot long skateboard?!"

"I don't know. We could stop and ask," Tim suggested.

"No. Not happening," Tony grunted. "We'll just go on our merry way...down to Lexington."

"What's in Lexington, again?" Tim asked.

"The big cup."

"Oh, yeah."

It was quiet in the car for a moment. Tim felt bad that they had started this great and wonderful trip he had planned and the first stop had gone wrong. He thought he should apologize, but he didn't know how he could apologize for a missing huge skateboard without sounding ridiculous.

As Tony turned out of Wilmington and headed south, Tim suddenly had a stupid thought. It slipped out before he could think the better of it.

"Maybe Paul Bunyan stopped by," he said. "It's got to be boring just walking around with Babe all the time."

Tony looked at him.

"And so...he came down to borrow the skateboard?"

"Sure. Hopefully, he gets back up to Brainerd before we get there. Maybe he'll bring the skateboard with him."

"Probie...are you high?"

"Not last I checked...but you bought the snacks at the last gas station."

Finally, to Tim's relief, Tony chuckled.

"Good one, Tim. Well-played."

"Thank you. I'm the sorry the gigantic skateboard disappeared."

"I doubt you did it on purpose. You'll just need to watch your powers of teleportation and make sure that the giant Dixie cup is still where it's supposed to be."

"Well, it's supposed to be really easy to see once we get there."

"It had better be."

Tim grinned, secretly relieved that the conversation hadn't gone in a dour direction. Maybe this would work out all right after all.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tony was still driving when they got close to Lexington. Tim was looking out the window, trying to get a first glimpse of the world's largest Dixie cup.

Was this the silliest thing they could be doing to relax? Maybe, but it was something they'd done once before, although, granted, Tim had been in a much worse state. At the same time, Tony could see how nervous Tim was about things going right. Not finding the skateboard had been typical luck when people did stuff like this, but Tim had been worried about it.

When would he finally break down and try to get Tony to talk about it?

He hadn't tried so far...and Tony wasn't going to start it.

"There it is!" Tim said, pointing out the windshield.

Tony looked out and saw it poking up above the other buildings. He smiled.

"Nice. Let's see how close we can get."

"Sounds good to me."

They started driving through the streets, getting closer and closer to the Dixie cup.

"Hey, what's that?" Tim asked, suddenly pointing out his window.

Tony slowed down.

"I have no idea."

He pulled off the road into a parking lot for Bondurant's Pharmacy.

"It's...a mortar and pestle," Tim said. "Weird!"

"Pictures!" Tony declared. He grabbed his camera and got out of the car.

Tim followed suit.

"Okay! You first," Tim said.

Tony ran in front of the building while Tim went back across the street so he could get the whole building in the photo. Tony posed dramatically, both hands in the air. Tim took the photo and then, they switched places and Tim posed, staring thoughtfully at the building.

Then, they both took photos of the building by itself.

"I _like_ that," Tim said.

"Now, I know why we couldn't find the skateboard," Tony said.

"Why?"

"Because a good road trip has to start with an unplanned stop."

Tim grinned.

"You ready to find the cup, now?"

"Sure."

They got back into the car and wove through the streets until they got to a place where they could see the cup easily. They parked on the side of the road.

"Okay... Tony, stand right...there," Tim said and positioned Tony in one spot.

Then, he backed up.

"What are you doing, Tim?" Tony asked.

Tim just kept backing up and looking through his camera. Finally, he stopped.

"Okay. Hold up your hand!"

Tony furrowed his brow at Tim.

"How high?" he asked.

"A little higher! Palm up!"

Tony raised it up just a little bit more.

"Smile, Tony!"

Tony laughed and Tim took the picture. Then, he ran back and showed Tony.

It looked like Tony was holding the giant Dixie cup in his hand.

"Nice one, Probie."

They both took some more pictures and then went on their way again. Tim was driving this time.

"Okay... so do we go all the way to Jasonville tonight or do you want to go only part way and get there early tomorrow?" Tim asked. "You didn't let me reserve any hotels so we can stop anywhere. It's almost four hours to Jasonville."

Tony got out the atlas and looked at their marked route. It was fairly amusing that Tim had highlighted their planned route in the atlas, but it did make it easier to see what there might be to do on their way.

"Why don't we just go to Jeffersonville tonight? We can get a real meal instead of gas station food and find a hotel."

"Sounds good to me."

They drove for the next couple of hours, not talking much. Tony found them a hotel with a restaurant attached so that they could eat without having to find a place.

Finally in their room after the long day of driving, Tony watched as Tim let himself fall onto the bed.

"That was a long day," he said.

"Wimp. How are you going to survive being away from Delilah for all this time?"

Tim sat up and raised an eyebrow. Tony thought Tim would take the opening he'd offered. Nope.

"She has a job, too, Tony. We don't spend every waking moment together. We're dating, not Siamese twins."

Tony laughed and it was only slightly forced. Was it fair that Tim, geeky, nerdy Tim, had a steady girlfriend and was happy while Tony was... He stopped the thought before it could get any further.

"Besides, I promised her I'd make it up to her when I got back," Tim said with a grin. He fell back to the bed.

"You used all your vacation days, didn't you, Probie."

"Most of them."

"Why?"

Tim sat up again.

"I thought it would be fun."

That was a lie. Tony knew it. Tim knew it. That wasn't why they were doing this. Sure, it had been fun today, but that wasn't the reason. Tony couldn't figure out why Tim wouldn't just admit it.

"Is it not fun?" he asked.

"It's fun."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Good. Now, I'm going to sleep. One day down."

He went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Tony stared after him and then, let out a whoosh of air.

One day down...and it hadn't been a bad day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

They got up early and headed to Jasonville. It didn't take long to find the yo-yo and then go on. Their next stop was Peoria. As they drove, they talked about nothing. Tim wondered if he _should_ bring up serious topics and Tony was wondering why Tim _didn't_ bring up serious topics. Still, neither one of them broached the real reason for this trip. They just kept talking without saying anything.

...and neither of them could decide if they _should_ say anything.

Then, as they closed in on Peoria, it was time to navigate.

They made their way to the Peoria Riverfront Museum and stopped.

"Okay, Probie, tell me what we're looking for."

"The Sun comes first," Tim said. There was a strange expression on his face as he looked around for it. "It's 36 feet high. It should stand out."

"Okay."

They found it pretty quickly.

"I have been wanting to see this since I was a kid," Tim said.

"I can't believe you never did."

Tim shrugged. "Dad thought it was a waste of time. So we never went."

"He said that?"

"Yeah. It would have been for him. My friends in college weren't interested or else I couldn't afford the trip. ...and it's not as much fun to see alone."

Tony raised his eyebrows.

"It's a model of the solar system. How much fun did you expect to have?"

"A _scale_ model, Tony," Tim said with a grin. "The Sun's actual size is about 865,000 miles in diameter. At this scale, Mercury is about two inches in diameter and about a third of a mile away."

The significance of that suddenly hit Tony.

"Wait. _Mercury_ is a third of a mile away? That's the closest planet to the Sun!"

Tim nodded, his grin widening.

"So...just how big _is_ this model?"

"Pluto is about 40 miles from here."

" _What_?"

"Exactly. It's in a furniture store in Kewanee."

"You didn't say anything about this before. I was thinking it was just a little dinky thing."

Tim looked a little embarrassed.

"I...wasn't sure you'd actually want to come here if I told you in advance."

"Why? We saw a yo-yo and a big Dixie cup. Do you really think that a solar system is that much different?"

"Well, technically, it's not the largest anymore. There's one in Maine that's bigger. ...and no one else has cared." Tim took a breath and smiled. "I just wanted to see it."

"Okay." Tony thought it was kind of weird how much Tim wanted to see this thing, but he also thought it was kind of sad that he'd wanted to see it for this long and never had. "Then, let's see it."

They walked to Mercury, Venus, the Earth and Mars. That took about an hour to walk out and then back to their car. They took pictures at every stop, and then, when they got back to the car, they began the drive to the various other planets. They even found the dwarf planet Ceres, located in the asteroid belt. But there was something really fun about searching for all the outer planets. Jupiter was in the airport. Saturn was in the Pekin library, nearly nine miles from the model of the Sun.

"Okay. Here's Princeville. Where is it?" Tony asked.

"Troutman Park," Tim said, looking at the GPS. Then, he smiled. "Just so you know, we're nearly 1.8 billion miles from the Sun at this point."

Tony chuckled. He liked seeing Tim enjoying himself so much. It had been awhile since Tim had let himself be completely nerdy.

"I'll keep that in mind, Tim."

They found Uranus and got pictures. Then, it was back into the car to drive another 12 miles to Neptune in the Wyoming Train Depot. More pictures.

"We could stop here, you know," Tim said.

"Why would we do that?" Tony asked. "There's still Pluto."

"Technically, it's no longer defined as a planet," Tim said.

"But the model still has it?"

"Yes."

"Then, we're going to find it. Where is it?"

"In a furniture store in Kewanee," Tim said. "Another 12 miles away."

"Bring it on."

Tim laughed. "Okay."

They drove to Good's Furniture in Kewanee and found the tiny model of Pluto (with Charon, its largest moon), less than an inch in diameter. Tim crouched down by it so that Tony could take his picture, and then, they headed out of the store, feeling like they'd accomplished something really impressive.

"There are some other dwarf planets included in the model," Tim said, "but I never felt like I needed to see them. Once you start including them, there are so many that you could never be done...and Pluto is still the end of the solar system in my mind...even though I know it's not."

"Then, we'll stop here. So...tell me, Probie, how far are we from the Sun?"

"About 3.6 billion miles."

"And how do you feel now?"

Tim smiled. It wasn't the mischievous grin he'd had before. It was a contented smile. A simple childhood dream fulfilled.

"Great."

"Good. Are you ready to head to Collinsville?"

"Sure. If we stop there, we could see the ketchup bottle and the pencil and then go to Cahokia in the morning before we go to Cawker City. That's going to be a long, boring drive."

"All right."

They headed for the car and suddenly, Tim stopped.

"What?"

"Thanks, Tony."

"What for?"

"For doing this with me...and not making fun of me for still wanting to see this."

"No way, man. This trip is for both of us. You get to have fun, too. Neither of us had a lot of fun last time."

"No. That's for sure."

Another opening for a serious conversation.

And it passed unacknowledged.

They got in the car and drove to Collinsville. The ketchup bottle was outside and up on a tower, but the pencil was in the St. Louis City Museum which contained a number of strange and wonderful things beyond the pencil...which they saw first and took pictures of. They also saw the world's largest tennis racket and pair of tighty whities. Strange, but they still took pictures. They both went down the 10-story slide and gazed in awe at the fiberglass ceiling. All in all, the pencil had led them to an extremely fun playground. Definitely worth the stop.

Then, they got dinner and found a hotel for the night. Tim settled down and called Delilah from the small balcony. Tony couldn't help but listen a little bit while Tim told her what they'd been doing.

"No, I'm having a blast," Tim said, sounding genuinely happy. "It's a _lot_ of driving, but we're splitting it up and that makes it easier. I'll have to bring you to St. Louis sometime. The museum was totally amazing."

Tony listened while Tim had a nice, long, unangsty, enjoyable conversation with his normal girlfriend. It sounded like he really liked her, like it was a fun relationship they had. In fact, while he thought he was alone, Tim sounded a lot more playful than he ever was in public.

_And what do I have? Nothing._

At this point, Tony wondered what in the world he had really expected by spending all that time tracking Ziva down. If she had really wanted to be with them, with _them_ , she would have said so. She would have been in contact. She wouldn't have left in the first place. It almost felt like he hadn't been himself during that time in Israel. Instead, he had become a stranger and then been thrust out of that world back into himself too quickly to adjust. Ziva was still in Israel...or wherever, and he was back in his life, but feeling out of place in it.

"I love you, too," Tim said. "Bye."

Tony sat up on the bed, expecting Tim to come inside, but he didn't. He stayed out on the balcony, looking out over the city. Tony got up and walked out.

"Have a nice chat?" he asked.

"Yeah," Tim said. "Delilah thinks I'm weird for being so into this stuff, but she's still getting to know me."

"And?"

"And what?" Tim asked.

"She's okay with everything so far?"

"Obviously," Tim said. "Delilah knows what she wants and she's not going to hang around out of pity. Thank goodness."

Another wide opening for a serious conversation.

...and that passed them by.

Tim got to his feet and stretched.

"I'm going to shower tonight. You can have it in the morning."

"Sounds good."

Tim walked into the bathroom and Tony stayed out on the balcony. He was envious. He could admit that to himself. ...and he was a little flabbergasted that he was jealous of _Tim_ of all people. Tony and Tim were complete opposites. They would never have given each other the time of day had they not been on the same team. Generally, that was fine. Tony had his thing and Tim had his. This was possibly the first time that Tony wished he could trade places. Tim didn't seem thrown by anything at all. Even his breakdown last year was nothing more than a memory. He had a job, a girlfriend...a good life.

And, in spite of his best efforts, Tony couldn't keep his mind away from the painful topic he wanted to avoid. Even though Tim hadn't brought it up, his brain stubbornly kept returning to it.

 _I'll ignore it,_ he thought. _There's no reason to even acknowledge it. This is just a fun trip, and even if we both know that there's more to it, I'm going to ignore it._

He got ready for bed and was nearly asleep before Tim came out.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim woke up suddenly and stared at the ceiling. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was, but then, he heard Tony snoring and he smiled. It had been more than a year since his breakdown, and he still had nightmares sometimes. When he had them, it was rare that he went back to sleep, but most of the time, they came at the end of the night, not the middle; so it wasn't a big deal. He could easily function on six or seven hours instead of eight. Right now, it was just after five. As long as he stayed quiet, he wouldn't disturb Tony and he wouldn't let Tony know that he had a couple of lingering problems.

He rolled over and picked up his tablet. Shielding the glow from disturbing Tony, Tim opened it up and went into his pictures. He wasn't sure why he'd transferred all these pictures. At first, his intention had been to delete them. They were depressing like he'd thought they would be. ...but then, he hadn't been able to do it.

Now, as he looked at the photos, they depressed him anew. It was painfully clear that he had been in a bad way. Even in the photos where he'd managed to smile, he looked two seconds away from a meltdown. What Tim hoped for himself on this trip was to remove the stain of what had happened before...but given the situation, he wasn't telling Tony about that. It was just a matter of replacing these rather unpleasant memories with much better ones, and that didn't require any discussion or effort.

Tim closed his tablet and then, went back to staring at the ceiling for a while. It was nice and quiet in the room. There was no rush. They had a schedule, but not a strict one. Today, they'd go and see Cahokia, a little bit of genuine history amidst the goofy tourist traps.

Besides, if he told Tony about his nightmares, Tony would start worrying about _him_ , and Tim didn't want that. If he wanted to talk about what had happened in Israel, Tim would listen, but he wasn't going to force it. Tim would be the first to admit that he wasn't really the best at this kind of thing. So he would let Tony decide if that was what they should do.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Cahokia didn't open until nine, but they decided not to stay as long as they might have otherwise. Instead, they went to the visitor's center and then to Monk Mound. They looked around a little bit, but after that, they decided it would be best to get on their way to Cawker City. It would be more than eight hours to get there and that meant a long drive. Maybe another time, they could come back.

They started the long drive to Cawker City. When they got to Kansas City, they were both tired of driving and they started looking for something to break up the monotony. Tony was the one with the GPS. Tim was driving...so it was obvious where his attention would be.

"The College Basketball Experience," Tony said. "Perfect! We're going there, Tim."

Tim groaned good-naturedly.

"Oh, no."

"This place is only one museum. It's not spread out over 40 miles. So there."

"Okay, okay. Tell me how to get there."

They navigated to the museum and went inside. It seemed to be more geared towards kids, but Tony zeroed in on the interactive exhibits. ...and then, he proceeded to demonstrate that he was the athlete and Tim was not. Still, Tim could admit that he had fun there and it was a really nice break from the driving.

Then, it was back on the road to drive the next 200 miles to Cawker City. They were both tired and a little dazed by the time they got to their destination...and found a place to sleep called the Ball of Twine Inn. Then, it was time to find the ball of twine. They'd be stopping in Darwin, Minnesota to see the other big ball of twine and it was fun to have the chance to compare. They posed, of course. Some very friendly locals took their picture together with the twine and the caretakers actually let them add their own twine to the mass...although they were very particular about how it was done.

They got something to eat and then went to the inn. They had lucked out, given that the "inn" was only one unit and there had been a last-minute cancellation.

Tim had done most of the driving that day and he was tired. So he got ready for bed and was asleep in minutes. Tony felt more awake. He was thinking. Today had been really fun. Lots of driving, talking about nothing, spontaneous stops and something goofy to end the day. He looked at Tim. He was surprised that this road trip _was_ as fun as he had hoped.

If only the nights weren't so empty. Tony felt it was unfair that he had so much space in his head and he was filling it with brooding thoughts. Wanting to distract himself, he quietly crept to Tim's bag and found his tablet. He knew Tim had at least a few games on his tablet that he didn't have on his phone. He turned it on and was surprised to see photos of the last road trip. Why was Tim looking at them? While Tony had insisted on taking pictures, he hadn't really looked at them since. They were mostly depressing because Tim was so obviously not well. So...why would he be looking at them?

Tony smiled a little. It looked like there were _two_ different topics of conversation they could bring up. ...and neither of them were doing it.

Should he? Tony knew that Tim wanted to forget that period, that he was still a little embarrassed about how he had faltered after the bombing of NCIS, but was it serious that this was still something he was thinking about?

Tony sighed. Probably, it wasn't. He was just wanting something serious to not involve him.

In the end, he shut down the tablet without playing any games and went to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

They were both up early and it was off to Stanton, Iowa.

"I'm losing track of what we're seeing next," Tim admitted as they headed out.

"Stanton...that's the coffee pot, isn't it?"

Tim laughed. "That's a bad sign. Neither of us know what we're seeing next."

He pulled out the atlas and checked their route.

"Yep. It's the coffee pot and mug. Then, it's a long drive to the Badlands. We'll probably want to wait and go there tomorrow." Tim looked up. "Do you want to stay in Wall again?"

Tony didn't. He didn't want Tim to start thinking about that again...but it wasn't like there was much else to see. Still...

"There's got to be someplace else. We don't want to repeat."

"We're going to have to repeat _some_ things," Tim said. "We'll be driving on the same road across South Dakota both ways...unless you want to take a chance on the smaller roads."

"See what you can find that's different."

"Okay." Tim started searching. "There are some hotels right off the interstate in Kadoka. That's pretty close to the Badlands and we wouldn't have to backtrack to get there."

"Sounds good."

"All righty."

Tony gave a sideways glance as Tim looked through the options in Kadoka. Then, he looked up.

"Well, I think we can choose when we get there. That's worked well enough so far."

Tony nodded and began the drive to Stanton. It took nearly five hours to get there and they were tired, but they had another eight hours to go just that day. So they drove to a good vantage point to see the two water towers. While they took pictures, one of the locals told them that they were lucky to see both of them. The coffee pot water tower was going to be taken down in the fall because it didn't work any longer. The coffee cup, on the other hand, was newer and it would stay in place.

After that, they drove back toward Red Oak to get something to eat. Then, Tim took over the driving as they began the eight-hour drive to the Badlands.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim was glad for the millionth time that he could do some of the driving on this trip. He still hated that Tony had been forced to do so much just to keep him from self-destructing.

He also started fretting that maybe he wasn't doing enough. Maybe he should be saying something more, addressing the problem that Tony had...but he didn't know if he should. So he said nothing about it. Tony seemed to be having fun, and when he didn't stress about things, Tim had fun, too. All in all, maybe he was making too much of this. Abby had said he was.

"You want to trade off, Tim?" Tony asked.

Tim jumped a little.

"No. I'm fine."

"You can take a break, you know," Tony said. "I don't mind."

"I'm fine. It's only been a few hours."

"Okay. If you're sure."

"I'll tell you," Tim said and then smiled. "I don't want to get us in an accident."

"Neither do I."

Tim laughed and refocused on the road.

It was quiet for a few miles and then, Tony broke the silence.

"So...how did you and Delilah meet?" Tony asked. "You mentioned her back before...everything imploded, but you really weren't open about it."

Tim swallowed and chickened out in addressing the implosion itself.

"Given how Abby reacted when she actually met her...I think I was right to be closed."

Tony laughed. "Awkward?"

"You have no idea. And you know, it really made no sense because it's not like Abby and I have dated in ten years."

"That doesn't matter. Abby gets possessive. When she decides that Delilah is okay, she'll smother her, but until then, she might as well be the enemy. But you avoided telling me how you met her."

"Oh...well, it's not exciting, if that's what you're expecting," Tim said.

"Then, why are you avoiding telling me?" Tony asked with a grin.

"Because your mind is going to supply something that will make you more and more excited and suspicious until I disappoint you completely by telling you the truth."

Tony laughed loudly. "Okay, Probie. Tell me."

"She spilled her coffee on me and so I bought her a new coffee and got her number."

"Really? That's it?"

Tim chuckled and glanced at Tony.

"Yeah. That's it."

"And it worked?"

"Crazy, huh?"

"That's so...boring. That's not even a gaming story. Or paint ball or any of the other weird hobbies you have. Coffee?"

"I know. I'm surprised that it worked, really. I'm _glad_ it did, but I didn't think it would."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a nerd, Tony," Tim said. "And my track record isn't all that great as far as girlfriends are concerned. I'm just glad that Delilah hasn't tried to kill me. Yet."

"Oh, come on."

"I'm serious," Tim said. "The last woman I took a chance on turned out to be a mercenary who almost killed me. I'm taking my time with Delilah."

"And she doesn't mind that?"

"Nope. She doesn't. If she did I'm sure she would have said something or dropped me like a hot potato. She hasn't so far."

"You know, you aren't really very...demonstrative. You'd hardly know you two were dating."

Tim glanced at Tony, briefly. "My private life stays private, Tony. I'm not an exhibitionist."

"A little peck on the cheek or holding hands isn't being an exhibitionist."

"You pursue relationships your way, and I'll do it my way," Tim said, feeling a little defensive. "I don't display my life for others to gawk at. That's not me."

"Okay, okay. Don't get so touchy. ...are _you_ worried about it?"

Tim shrugged.

"No, come on, Tim. Are you worried?"

"I...I really like her, Tony. She's...everything I've ever wanted to have, and...and she doesn't require that I change who I am to suit her. I suit her already. Nothing she's learned about me has disappointed her. Who I am is enough. I don't...want to lose that by being stupid...but at the same time...what if I'm wrong?"

"Can't you just have fun?"

Tim laughed a little. "Usually...except when people start grilling me about her... Then, I start getting nervous...which is one of the reasons I didn't tell you guys about her before."

Tony lifted his hands. "Touche. Point taken."

Silence fell again, and without the distraction, Tim could admit that he was starting to get tired of driving. Not that he couldn't keep driving, he'd done all-day drives before, but there was no point to driving himself to exhaustion.

"Okay, Tony. Next fill up, I'm ready to switch."

"How much is left in the tank?"

"About half. We'll probably want to fill up when we get the chance."

"Okay."

Another 30 miles, and they found a gas station. Tim pulled off and filled the tank. Then, Tony started driving.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tony smiled as a billboard approached.

"Wall Drug," he said and pointed. "I love these signs."

Tim had apparently been drowsing a little bit because he didn't respond right away.

"Tim!"

Tim jumped and looked at him.

"Yeah?"

"You sleeping, Probie?"

"No. I was awake."

"Uh-huh. What did I say?"

Tim smiled. "I wasn't paying attention. Sorry."

"Well, too bad for you. You missed one of the Wall Drug signs. Here comes another one. I love these."

Tim looked out the windshield and smiled at the _Free Ice Water_ sign.

"Since I've actually been there, I think these signs are a bit much. Sure, it was fun, but...it's just a glorified tourist trap."

"That's what makes it so great. There's even a Wall Drug sign in London...or there used to be. That's over 5,000 miles away from here!"

Tim grinned. "So you're going to go to London just to see it, right?"

"I'm considering it. You can come."

"I'll keep that in mind. I liked the little historical part better."

"You would."

Tim laughed.

They continued to talk about Wall Drug and the signs along I-90. It was nearing nine p.m. by the time they got to Kadoka. They pulled off and went to a motel. There was a room available and so they could think about getting something to eat...the only problem being that they didn't know where anything was. They got a recommendation to try the restaurant across the parking lot called Jiggers. Having nothing else in mind, they decided to go. They got there just before the place was about to close, but the woman who greeted them was as welcoming as a grandmother and she insisted that they have a seat and she'd make sure they got a square meal.

It wasn't fast, but it was very tasty and they promised to come back in the morning for breakfast.

Then, it was back to the motel. It was very basic, but it was clean. Tim yawned and stretched and then grabbed his stuff and vanished into the bathroom without comment. Tony sat down on the bed. They'd come really close to addressing both of the serious topics they were avoiding. He actually didn't know what Tim was thinking about, but he was wondering if he should just bite the bullet and say something.

At the same time, he didn't want to. If only he could just forget about all that...but it was becoming more and more clear to him that he couldn't. It loomed too large over him.

But was this really the time to deal with it?

He was excited to go back to the Badlands tomorrow. It was the only real repetition from their first road trip, and he was happy to see it when he wasn't worrying about Tim's well-being. This road trip was far and away better than the first one, but he didn't feel like he could say that to Tim because he'd only feel bad about it.

The bathroom door opened and Tim walked over to his bed.

"Man, that was a long day," he said. "Maybe tomorrow we could just do the Badlands and Mount Rushmore and not try to make it to Darwin. I think I need a day."

Tony chuckled. "Come on! Are you telling me that you're too tired to drive another nine hours tomorrow?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Okay, okay. Actually, I could use the day, too."

"Good. Now, I'm going to sleep. If you want to talk to me, you'll have to talk over my snoring...and don't wake me up."

Then, Tim smiled and lay down. His eyes closed and Tony could tell that he fell asleep pretty quickly.

Actually, Tony was glad that Tim was tired and fell asleep. It was a definite improvement over his previous state last year. It was nice to have that not be a worry. Finally, Tony stirred himself to get ready for bed. He was tired.

Tomorrow, they'd finally go back to the Badlands and they'd get to see a lot more than they had before.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Tim woke up when a beam of light hit him in the face, seeping under his eyelids. Sleeping until after sunrise was still rare enough that he savored the occurrence whenever possible. He lay quietly without moving as the light increased.

"Are you awake, Tim?"

Tim didn't reply, hoping that he could enjoy the sunlight on his closed eyes for a little longer.

"I can tell you're awake, Tim."

Tim smiled and then stretched as far as he could, holding the position for a few seconds before relaxing and opening his eyes.

"Good morning," he said.

"What are _you_ so happy about?" Tony asked.

Tim shrugged.

"Did you have a sex dream?"

"Even if I did, I'm not telling _you_ about it, Tony."

Tim sat up. He wasn't going to explain that he was just happy about having slept through the night. Tony would start worrying again.

"Ready for the Badlands?" he asked.

Tony grinned. " _I_ am, but you're still in your PJs."

"I'll change and we can get breakfast and go. What time is it, anyway?"

"After eight."

"Sounds good to me." Tim hurried into the bathroom and showered and changed.

Then, they had a quick breakfast and headed for the Badlands. Tim drove...at his own insistence.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tony noticed that Tim got quiet as they got into the park. They stopped at the first overlook and got out.

"How's the view, this time?" Tony asked.

Tim looked at him and then out over the Badlands.

"It looks a lot the same, I'm guessing."

"Guessing?"

Tim shrugged. "I told you before... I don't remember it very well. ...and really, I'd rather not go back to that again, Tony."

"It's over, isn't it?"

Tim laughed. "Yeah, it's over. So why bring it up?"

He turned and walked back to the car. Tony followed him.

"It just seems like you're still a little worried about it. You shouldn't be afraid to talk about it, just because you're embarrassed."

Tim stopped and looked at him. "Tony, I had a total mental breakdown. They called it something else, but that's what it was. It was bad enough that I had to go to a psychiatric hospital. It took even longer to feel okay about things again, to feel like the world wasn't going to end every time I closed my eyes. Why _wouldn't_ I still be a little worried about that? It's only been a year." He sighed. "I should have known that you couldn't just let it lie, couldn't just let it be in the past and over. It's your way of getting around the problems _you're_ having."

Tony forced a laugh. "I'm not having a mental breakdown, Tim."

"No, you're not," Tim said. "Did I say you were? Problems do not necessarily equal temporary insanity. Your problem is that you're trying to avoid thinking about how you feel you failed."

"Failed?"

"To bring Ziva back."

There it was. The dreaded Z word. Tony knew that when he started pushing, Tim might push back. He wasn't teetering on the edge anymore, and he could fire back with the same kind of painful reality Tony was pushing on him. Funny that it was happening here in the only overlapping stop of the entire road trip. ...but then, Tony could admit that he had started this.

"She didn't _want_ to come back. It wasn't about me."

"That's what you keep telling yourself, I'm sure...but you made it about you when you went after her."

"And what does _that_ mean?" Tony asked, feeling a little testy.

"Sure, it was supposed to be to keep her safe and all, but I'll bet that wasn't what it turned into. It was obvious when you came back here. You were going to be Superman and turn back time. Put Ziva back where she belonged and save the day. ...and you didn't. You didn't bring her back. You didn't turn back time. ...and you didn't get the girl. Ziva didn't want you, did she."

"Is that what you're hoping to hear? That she rejected me? Well, guess what, McGee, she rejected all of us. Not just me."

Tim shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"What's _that_ look for?"

"Do you honestly think that you're telling me something I don't know?"

"Why? Have you been in secret contact with her again?"

"No. I haven't. That's my point, Tony. She cared enough to talk to Gibbs once. She cared enough to say good-bye to you. She came to _me_ when she wanted help tracking Bodnar. Me, not you. But when it comes down to her leaving and never coming back... Not a word. Not even a good-bye. Nothing."

"Tim..."

"I'm not done," Tim said, and it was clear he'd been wanting to say this to _someone_ for a while. "I have no idea what went down between the two of you in Israel. I don't know, and I've respected you enough not to ask...since it seems like it was painful. But when are you going to see beyond that and realize that others miss her, too?"

"I thought you were dating Delilah."

"I am. I'm not talking about having a girlfriend, Tony. I'm talking about a friend, someone I thought was a close friend. Someone I risked a lot for. Ziva and I were close... _because_ there was nothing else between us. We were just friends and that's it, but I thought that meant something. I thought it was important. In the end, it wasn't...or at least, it wasn't as important to her as it was to me. Ziva was a friend to me. What was she to you?"

"Are you saying that we weren't friends?"

"No. It's a real question. I never could figure out what was going on between the two of you. You seemed to hate each other one minute and then, the next, all you could do was talk about each other or wonder about each other. What happened in Israel?"

It was Tony's turn to look away. To walk away from the confrontation. He looked at the overlook again, at the barren landscape that had seemed to encapsulate Tim's state of mind a year ago. Now...again, using the melodramatic description, it seemed to be the illustration of Tony's heart.

"I don't know," Tony said, finally.

"You don't know what happened?" Tim asked. "But you were there."

"I know what happened. I _don't_ know what she was to me. There are too many options."

It was dodging the question, and Tony knew it...but he really didn't know what to say, how to explain what that whole mess had done.

Tim walked up beside him and looked out at the same landscape. Tony didn't know what he was seeing.

"No reason to stop here, you know. We've already seen it. There's a lot more to the Badlands than one overlook."

Tony looked over at Tim. Tim smiled in that closed-off way he had. It was a resigned smile, not a satisfied one.

"There is a lot more," Tony said.

"So let's go see it."

Tim turned away and walked back to the car. When he got to the driver's side door, he turned back and smiled again.

"Are you coming?"

Tony nodded and smiled a little.

"Yeah."

They drove on their way. A quick stop at the visitor's center let them see a few displays before getting back on the road. They were going to drive all the way through the park and get back on I-90 to continue on to Mount Rushmore. As they drove, Tony felt like he needed to say something more. Tim had let him shut down the conversation, but he knew that it had made things more strained than they should be. Tony wasn't sure why Tim was so bothered that Tony didn't want to talk about it. Tony _never_ wanted to talk about the serious stuff. He didn't want to get into that kind of thing. It didn't help to talk. Better just to let it go until it faded off into the background.

As they stopped and took pictures, Tony found that he hated how quiet it was. Tim was deliberately _not_ saying anything, and they'd been so much easier with each other lately that to go back to the strain that had been the norm for far too long was disappointing.

Tim pulled over at the Saddle Pass Trail.

"You want to climb up?" he asked. "The view from the top is supposed to be pretty amazing."

"Sure."

It was a steep climb. Not far, but they rose in elevation fairly significantly. When they got to the top, the view was, indeed, impressive. They stood side by side and looked out over the Badlands Wall. No one else was up there with them. No one had been down in the parking lot, either.

"I don't know if I loved her," Tony said softly, not looking at Tim.

"What?"

"Ziva. I don't know if I loved her. I thought...maybe...and we...kissed, but she still said no. While I was with her...I thought I loved her, but then...when I came back... I don't know. Maybe it was the just the idea of being with her that I loved. I care about her. I want her to be happy, but it hurt to have her say no. It hurt to have to walk away from her, knowing that it was what she wanted, that she was rejecting everything she could have here. It hurt that she had decided that she had to change into a different person because who she was wasn't good enough. ...is that love? I don't know."

There was a long silence.

"I don't know, either," Tim said, finally. "That's not how I feel about Delilah."

"What about Abby?"

"Abby just made me confused. We had fun while we were together, but I never felt like I was on sure ground with Abby. Mostly, I just...had to hope that I wouldn't say something that made her mad at me. That's why we didn't last very long...but at the same time, we had a hard time letting go. It's been nice just to be friends with her because she never seemed to want me, but, at the same time, she didn't want me to be with anyone else, either. We're better as friends."

"So you think that men and women can be friends, now?"

Tim smiled. "Yeah, I do...because I've had female friends, now. I know what it's like. I shouldn't have laughed at Kate."

"So...do you think I loved Ziva?" Tony asked suddenly.

Tim actually laughed. "I have no idea, Tony. I can't say what your feelings are. I'm barely fumbling my way through a normal relationship, but what you described... It's nothing that I've felt with Delilah. I asked her out. She said yes. We kept dating, and now...we're happy together. I don't want to lose her, but I haven't. It's not just a hopeless wish. I've got what I want, and I can hope to keep it."

Tony nodded. "I didn't ever have that with Ziva. We never could think the same way about things. Not ever. There were times when I thought maybe...but then, she'd be with someone else. So I'd give up...and then, she'd give me a look that said there was a chance, but I wasn't sure I wanted to... Then, in Israel, I just said it...and she said no."

Tim finally looked at him directly.

"Tony, you didn't have to bring her back, you know," Tim said. "It really wasn't a failure."

"That's why I went."

"You went to make sure she was safe. She was."

"She'd be safer here."

"Probably, but if it wasn't what she wanted, then, she wouldn't be happy...and she wouldn't stay, anyway."

"She might say good-bye, though."

Tim shook his head. "She didn't before. I don't see any reason to expect that to change."

Tony looked at Tim.

"You never asked if she said anything about you."

"I knew she hadn't," Tim said. "When she got sent back to Israel before, she sent me emails all during the time she was gone. When she stayed behind after Rivkin, she didn't send anything...because she was a prisoner. Since you found out that she wasn't a prisoner, then, that means she's not keeping in contact on purpose. That's her choice. My choice is to move on."

"Are you going to pretend that you're not bothered by it?"

"No. I'm bothered, but it's still her choice...and it's not like she's the only friend I've ever had. I have friends. If she ever came back, I'd hope that she'd say something about it, but if not, I could still welcome her back. Could you?"

"I don't know," Tony said, honestly. "Maybe not. What does that tell you?"

"That things are more complicated for you than they are for me. That's okay."

"That's okay for _you_ ," Tony said.

Tim smiled. It was much more open than it had been.

"That's right." He looked down toward the parking lot. "Someone's coming up."

"Then, we should head back down."

"Let's not kill ourselves...or the people coming up."

"Good idea."

They slipped and slid their way down the trail and then got back into the car. Tim started driving again and then, he surprised Tony by opening the top.

"Hey! Why didn't you do this days ago?"

Tim smiled. "I thought it would be more impressive if we waited until there was really something to see along the way."

Tony groaned good-naturedly and decided that he'd never really get how Tim's mind worked. Instead of trying, he just leaned back and enjoyed the panorama as they continued on their way through the park. They stopped at every overlook. Some were quintessential Badlands, but some were surprisingly green...as if the Badlands hadn't reached them, yet. Perhaps, in another thousand years, they would look the same as the rest of the Badlands did.

It was about three hours that they took driving on the scenic route through the Badlands. Then, they left the park, satisfied that they'd seen a lot more than the last time. The road led directly to Wall.

"Do you want to go anywhere here?" Tim asked, his voice deliberately neutral.

"Just a place to eat. I'm starving," Tony said.

Tim nodded.

They found that the choices were pretty limited in Wall. So instead of eating a regular meal, they stopped to get gas and bought some snacks to tide them over until they got to Rapid City.

Their next stop was Mount Rushmore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Tony took over the drive, and he insisted that they leave the top down on the way.

"So...have you been here before?" Tony asked as they started toward Mount Rushmore.

"No," Tim said. "Not that I can remember. We didn't go on many trips when I was a kid. Dad was too busy...and it's pretty far inland."

Tony chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Have you?"

"No. Always wanted to, though."

"Why?" Tim asked. "I wouldn't ever think that you'd want to go to places like this, but you seem as excited to go here as I was to see the solar system."

Tony smiled at the comparison.

"It's kind of the same, I guess."

"Why?"

"Well, you know how kids in movies always went on family trips in the summer?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Right. You weren't a movie watcher."

"No, not really. Computers are more my thing, remember?"

"Well, they do. I always felt like this was what normal kids got to do. And it was always Mount Rushmore in my head. Not sure why. So I always wanted to go."

"Why didn't you?"

Tony shrugged.

"I don't know. After my mom died, it was definitely not going to happen with Dad. Then, I became a sports guy, and it wasn't cool to want to go on a family trip to Mount Rushmore. I was a jock in college, too, and my frat brothers weren't really into that kind of thing, either. We did the typical Spring Break stuff...which I like, don't get me wrong," Tony said with a leer. Tim just rolled his eyes. "So I put it aside. Then, I was a cop. Things that seemed really important when I was a kid just...kind of faded."

"Not completely, obviously," Tim said.

"Obviously."

"So...are you going to be disappointed?"

"No. I know what's there. I've seen _North by Northwest_."

Tony grinned and Tim laughed in response.

When they got to Mount Rushmore, they found a parking space. There were a lot of people there. Instead of getting there first thing in the morning, they were there in the afternoon.

"Kind of crowded," Tim said as they headed for the sidewalk.

"Yeah. I think we'll survive."

"Probably."

They walked up the steps, toward the Avenue of Flags. They bypassed the gift shop for the moment, wanting to see the monument first.

And there they were. Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln, looking down on them through a number of flags.

"Nice!" Tony said and hurried forward.

Tim followed along behind him.

Tony couldn't help but feel like a little kid again as he headed closer to the mountain. Like the Badlands and even Wall Drug, the year before, this was something he really wanted to see. It didn't matter what it was, really. It was just something he'd wanted to see, and now, he was seeing it. And that was just great.

Tim was quiet, but it was a different kind of quiet than before. It was more like he was just respecting Tony's excitement and letting him enjoy it. They walked through the avenue and to the amphitheater, on the Grand View Terrace. It looked as though a presentation had just finished. People were beginning to filter away from the seats. That was all right, though. Tony hadn't wanted to come here for that. He wanted to see the mountain. And the view from here was perfect. He took pictures, and then, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned, just in time to see Tim lowering his own camera with a grin on his face.

"Hey! You're supposed to warn me, first!"

"There's no rule about that," Tim said.

"How am I supposed to get in a goofy pose if you don't tell me you're taking a picture?"

"Exactly."

"Exactly, what?"

"You didn't have time to get in a goofy pose. You want to go on the Presidential Trail?"

Tony mock glared at Tim and then, smiled and nodded.

They headed off.

They had only got to the first information plaque when they were interrupted.

"Excuse me...could you take a picture for us?"

Tony looked back and saw a large family...ten people in all, crowded together.

"Wow. You're all together?" he asked.

They laughed.

"Yep. Family trip. We've been saving up for this for a few years. We want to get it all documented."

"Sounds great!" Tony said. He took the camera and snapped a few pictures of the whole group.

"Thanks!"

Then, the mob moved off with the adults shouting for the kids to stay with them and not get too far ahead.

"Wow. That was a _horde_!" Tim said. "How many kids were there?"

"I counted eight," Tony said.

"Wow. Maybe we should let them get _way_ ahead of us."

Tony chuckled. "Okay. Sure. See what I told you? Family trips to Mount Rushmore."

Tim just laughed.

They waited for a few minutes and then continued on their way.

There were quite a few other people on the trail, too, but that didn't matter. Everyone seemed in a good mood, and there were a lot of families. All in all, it was fun. They stopped quite often to take pictures...standing in goofy poses. Along the trail, they were able to see the individual presidents more closely and then, at the end, there was a little cabin where the sculptor had been during the process. They took their time going on the trail since they'd decided to take a little time off of the constant driving.

After that, it was off to the gift shop. It was full of the typical touristy things. Scale models of the mountain, postcards, books. There was also a section with a large number of Native American items, pottery, sculptures and the like. Tony decided to buy a replica of Mount Rushmore and a mouse pad. Tim bought a puzzle and a sweatshirt.

It was late afternoon when they returned to the car.

"Okay...so, where do you want to get a hotel?" Tony asked.

"Anywhere is fine."

"Oh, no. You're picking since it was your idea to cut the travel short today."

Tim smiled. "Okay, okay. Uh...I don't see any reason to go further than Rapid City. That's where the most reputable choices will be, and it's right on I-90. We could find a hotel on the eastern side so we can get a straight shot onto the road tomorrow."

"Sounds good to me."

Tony drove them back toward Rapid City, and Tim started searching for hotels. He directed Tony to one right by the interstate. They went in to see if there was a room available. They lucked out and got a room. Then, they went into Rapid City to find a place to eat. They had a nice meal and then back to the hotel.

It was still pretty early, but they just decided to take a break and lie around. Tony turned on the TV while Tim called Delilah. This time, Tony didn't try to listen, but it did shift his mind back onto Ziva and the last time he'd seen her in Israel. ...and he thought about what he and Tim had talked about today. It was the most serious conversation they'd had in a while, and Tim hadn't been mushy about it at all. In fact, he'd been pretty straightforward.

Tim came into the room and tossed his phone onto his bed. Then, he sat down and watched the TV for a little while. Tony waited. Since they'd started talking about it, he figured that they weren't really done, yet.

Then, Tim asked a question...and it wasn't the one Tony had expected.

"How did she look?" Tim asked.

"Huh?" Tony asked.

"Ziva. When you left...how did she look?"

Tony shrugged. "Like usual. I don't know what you mean."

"Did she seem...happy? Unhappy? Depressed? Hopeful? Before she disappeared, she never seemed happy, not since her dad was killed. She was driven, and I don't think she really knew why, but it didn't get better while she was here. Did she look better?"

Tony thought about it. He really hadn't thought about it consciously, but he could still picture her, the look in her eyes.

"Yeah, she did. She wasn't happy. At least, I don't _think_ she was, but...she didn't look depressed. I think she meant it when she said she needed to find meaning. It was her decision."

"And nothing you could have said would make her stay."

Tony sighed. "I guess not."

"That's a good thing, you know, Tony."

"Why?"

"Because if she was better there, then, it's best that she stay where she has the best chance to be happy...even if she's not, now."

"You sound way too logical about it, Tim."

Tim shrugged. "I wasn't there. It's easy when you're separate from it."

"I don't know if it would have been easy for me. Separated or not."

Tim's brow furrowed.

"So...did you love her, then? Is it hard for you because you loved her and she didn't feel the same way? Or is it something else? I mean...there's got to be something you know about how you feel."

"Maybe I don't want to break the ambiguity of it. I don't know if I... _want_ to know."

"Why not?" Tim asked. "Wouldn't that be easier?"

"What if it was all...not real?"

" _Was_ it a lie?" Tim asked. He hesitated for a few seconds. "Tony...this just doesn't seem like you."

"What?"

"Being afraid of an answer."

Tony was quiet for a long time, thinking about what Tim had asked him. ...and suddenly, an answer came up out of nowhere. It wasn't something he particularly wanted to admit to, but maybe it would be better if he did.

Still, this wasn't the kind of conversation he usually had. He didn't encourage heart-to-hearts...at least, not when _he_ had to do the sharing.

But then, Tim wouldn't say anything to anyone. He might have a hard time acting like things were normal, but he'd keep details to himself. Tony knew he could do that.

"I'm kind of like Abby," Tony said, finally.

Tim actually laughed a little, and Tony smiled because he knew how that sounded.

"Not like you're thinking, I'm sure. I... Abby doesn't like things to change and she pouts and whines about it until the old order is reset. That's what she does because she wants things to stay as she has them organized in her head. Certain people should be in certain places."

"Okay. I can follow you that far."

"I don't like people to leave," Tony said. "I know they do, and I know they will. That's life. People leave and new people come to take their places...but I don't like people to leave, and...lately, you have to admit that the people who have left... It's been pretty permanent."

Tim was solemn as he nodded in agreement.

"But Ziva's not dead."

"No, but she's not coming back," Tony said. "I could see it in her eyes. Maybe, someday, she'll feel like she can talk to us, but she's never going to come back here. She's gone. This isn't like when she went back to Israel before, when Vance sent her. This was what _she_ wanted and I don't like that the team's been broken up again...because it won't be the same."

"Life isn't ever the same. Doesn't mean that it's worse, just that it's different."

"Again, you're sounding overly logical."

Tim smiled. "I know. That's easier for me."

"So you aren't worried about that?"

"Honestly?"

"Since I'm actually being serious, yes, please be honest."

Tim smiled again. "I'm...not worried."

"Why not?"

"Because...when Kate...died, we got Ziva and she wasn't Kate, but I liked her. When Director Morrow left, we got Director Shepard."

Tony shrugged without comment. His feelings about Jenny were ambivalent at best.

"And then, we got Director Vance. They're all different, but it's been okay. It's not that I like that they're gone, but we can move on...and Ziva's not dead. She's living the life she wants. So whoever we get in her place is going to be fine...because Gibbs won't accept just anyone, and we know that Ziva is still okay. That's why I'm not worried."

"And so you didn't turn down the promotion to move to Japan because you wanted things to stay the same?"

Now, it was Tim's turn to shrug.

"Doesn't matter. That's all water under the bridge."

"It still matters."

"No, it doesn't matter, Tony," Tim said flatly.

There was something about the way Tim spoke that told Tony it _did_ matter, but maybe that was a conversation for tomorrow. He was surprised at how Tim had reacted to that reference and it made him curious...but he would accept it. For now.

"Okay."

"So...you don't want people to leave. Is that all it was with Ziva?"

Even if he didn't really want to keep talking about himself, Tony knew that the conversation they'd been having really wasn't over...and it was probably better to talk about it than not.

"No...but I don't..." Tony sighed. "From here, looking back at it, I don't think it _was_ love. I just don't really know that there's a word to explain it."

Tim smiled a little. "Complicated?"

Tony laughed. "Yeah. That covers it."

"What about Ziva?"

"She didn't love me. I'm pretty sure of that," Tony said.

"Maybe you both loved the idea, just not the reality."

"Maybe. I don't know."

"I don't, either."

"Not sure it would make me feel any better if that was it."

Tim smiled again. "I'm not sure it should."

"At least, you're honest about it."

"Hiding things doesn't tend to work out so well for me, Tony," Tim said. "Remember?"

"Well, you don't _have_ to say everything you're thinking. You do have the right to _not_ say something."

"Is that your way of saying that you want me to lie, Tony?" Tim asked, the smile returning.

"Maybe."

Tim made a show of thinking about it.

"Sorry...no ego-stroking lies are coming to mind."

"Thanks."

"My pleasure." Then, Tim paused and looked a little concerned. "We don't _have_ to talk about this, if you don't want to, Tony. I thought it might help, but if it bothers you..."

Tony laughed. Tim looked so worried about that.

"Is that what this whole trip was about? Helping me?"

"I wasn't...going to say anything if you didn't...but we started talking about it...and I'll admit that I was kind of curious...since you didn't say anything about it when you came back, not really. ...but I just didn't know what to do, if there was anything that I _should_ do. Abby told me not to worry about it, just to have fun."

"But you don't know how to do that," Tony said.

Tim smiled self-deprecatingly. "Not often. ...but I did want you to have fun on this trip...unlike the last trip."

"I've had fun, Tim. I got to see Mount Rushmore! ...and that ginormous solar system model that I didn't even know existed. Have you?"

"Yeah, I have...when I wasn't worrying."

"Well, you can stop worrying about that," Tony said. He looked back at the TV for a moment and then decided just to say it. "I wanted to be the hero, to go out there and bring her back...and the hardest thing for me was knowing that I couldn't do it, that I had to turn and walk away. She's still there and I'm back here. Empty-handed. ...and I just don't know what to do about it."

"I don't, either."

"I didn't expect you to."

"I didn't, either," Tim said and grinned.

Tony laughed.

"So...now, what?"

"I was thinking I'd go to bed."

"Boring."

"Well, I never claimed to be exciting."

Tim got up and went into the bathroom.

Tony watched him go and then, he thought about it. Tim had been trying to do everything right, trying to help even when he didn't think he could. All in all, it was typical Tim.

...but, as he thought, Tony realized he _was_ feeling a little better about the situation. It wasn't that he was perfect now that he'd talked about it once...just like Tim hadn't been instantly recovered after he had admitted that he had a problem. It was just that talking about it once made it easier to think about talking again. Maybe there was something to it.

With that thought, he lay down and went back to watching TV.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Tim woke up before Tony. He wasn't sure how he felt. There hadn't been any outright nightmares that woke him up, but his sleep had been disturbed. He didn't really feel all that rested. In fact, he was still tired, but he wasn't sure he wanted to admit that to Tony because he didn't want Tony to think he was having some kind of sanity relapse. He waited for a while, staring at the ceiling, trying to relax. He would eventually, he knew. It just took time...and it seemed like he had plenty of it at the moment.

After a while, he got up and walked to the bathroom, trying to keep from waking Tony. He closed the door before he turned on the light and then, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He was glad he'd woken before Tony. His eyes had that slightly wigged out look to them that they got when he had the dreams. It always took a little time to get over them. Even when the dreams weren't enough to wake him, he still hated them.

He decided to shower quickly, knowing that the expression would be gone from his eyes by the time he got out. At least it was late enough that Tony wouldn't think he was crazy for being awake.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tony heard the shower go on and he squinted at the clock. Barely six a.m. What was Tim doing up so early? Sure, they had a long drive, but they just needed to get to Darwin. That would take time, but not the entire day.

He sat up, rubbing at his face. He still couldn't forget how much Tim seemed to be bothered by the mention of the job offer in Japan. He wanted to get at what was going on there because he didn't like the idea that Tim had second thoughts about it.

The door to the bathroom opened and Tim came out.

"You want an early start, McGee?" Tony asked.

Tim smiled. "I...I didn't sleep very well, to be honest."

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"I slept, just not as well as I'd like. I think we'll be better off if you drive and let me wake up a little more."

"You all right?"

"I'm _fine_ , Tony. I just sometimes don't sleep well. Lots of people have that. It just happens a little more often to me."

"If you're sure."

"I'm positive." Tim smiled. "I'm not just trying to get out of driving."

Tony smiled back. "Okay. We can grab something for breakfast on the way."

"Sounds good."

Tony got up and headed into the bathroom to get ready. He didn't linger, and they were on the road well before seven. They bought some coffee and donuts for breakfast. Tim didn't get any with sprinkles. After eating a couple of donuts, Tim reclined the seat and slept for about an hour. Tony glanced at him a few times.

_Don't start thinking it's anything other than a bad night's sleep. Everyone has those kinds of nights, and Tim knows what can happen. Don't worry about it._

Easier said than done, but when Tim woke up, he rubbed at his face and smiled as he picked up his coffee and sipped at it.

"That's better," he said.

"All recovered?"

Tim laughed. "You can trust me to drive when the time comes."

"Are you sure? I don't want to get in an accident because you're drowsy and not willing to admit it," Tony said, but he smiled to show that he wasn't being too serious.

Tim took it in good stead. He grinned.

"Hey, if you want to do all the driving, I'm more than happy to let you."

Tony chuckled. "No way, man."

"Then, when you're ready to take a break, I can drive."

"Okay."

Tony waited for a few minutes while Tim drank his coffee. He really did want to know what had been going through Tim's head when Tony had brought up Japan the day before.

"Tim?"

"Yeah?"

"What was bothering you so much about Japan?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were bugged by my mentioning it yesterday. Why?"

"Don't worry about it, Tony," Tim said. "Like I said, it's over. You don't go back after passing up an opportunity like that. So it doesn't matter. You don't need to bring it up."

"It does if it bothers you."

Tim raised an eyebrow. "It didn't matter to you at the time. Why would it matter now when it's long past the time when it could mean anything?"

"It mattered."

"No, it didn't. It didn't matter to anyone but me, and I chose to turn it down. But it wasn't because I wanted things to stay the same. It's because I liked where I was. I liked what I was doing. I wondered if anyone cared whether I stayed or not, but in the end, I chose based on what _I_ wanted, not what anyone else thought about it...and not because no one else thought about it at all."

"You think we didn't care?"

"You're going to pretend that you _did_?" Tim asked, raising his eyebrow again. It was clear he wouldn't believe Tony if he said so.

Tony was genuinely surprised. He thought back to that time. Things had been pretty chaotic that day, but he remembered when Tim had told them about it. Ziva had encouraged Tim to take the job, and Tony had decided to say nothing, figuring that teasing wouldn't help.

"I don't need to pretend. I told you. I don't like people to leave. That includes you."

"Then, why didn't you say anything?" Tim asked, pointedly.

"You needed to choose for yourself without us changing your mind."

"You didn't say anything _after_ I decided, either. Gibbs didn't even _know_ about it...and Gibbs _always_ knows. Heck, when there were rumors that Abby might have left, everyone freaked out and those were just _rumors_. They weren't even true. You knew right away that it was a real possibility and yet, no one cared about it. I felt like...like I was the one who could leave and no one would notice."

"Tim, that's not true."

"It doesn't matter, Tony," Tim said. "I moved on from it. You brought it up, not me. I moved on."

"I did bring it up...because it seems like it still bothers you," Tony said.

"It doesn't," Tim said, flatly, and stared out the window.

No matter what Tim said, Tony could see that it _did_ bother him. He'd never even considered that Tim might have come away from that with the idea that no one cared whether he was there or not.

"Tim..."

Tim shook his head.

"Tony, it doesn't matter, now. It really doesn't. Vance was disappointed that I turned it down, but he accepted my decision. No one else knew or cared and it's been a couple of years since then. I don't need coddling."

"It's not about coddling. It's about what's the truth. We didn't want you to go, but we didn't want to force you to stay if it wasn't what you wanted."

Tim looked unconvinced, but he didn't seem to want to talk about it anymore...if he had at all. Tony didn't want to leave it until Tim believed him, though.

"Tim, why didn't you ever say anything about it?"

Tim laughed. "What did you expect me to say, Tony? 'Hey, guys, didn't you ever wonder about my leaving? Did you want me to stay? Why didn't you act like you cared one iota?' Even if I _had_ said something like that, you would have mocked me until I _wished_ that I had taken the job in Japan."

Tony smiled a little. "Okay, yeah. I admit it."

"I already reconciled myself to what happened, Tony. We don't need to keep harping on it."

"It's not harping. Tim, I don't like you thinking you don't matter."

Tim gave a false smile. " _I_ know I matter."

"To us, Tim," Tony said. "Honestly, I never even thought about you taking it that way."

"Big surprise. You usually don't."

"You're sounding a little sulky, Tim," Tony said.

"You're the one who won't just drop it."

Tony could see this going in a bad direction if he didn't say the right thing. The question was what the right thing might be.

"Tim...I didn't..." Tony thought again. What to say that wouldn't sound insincere. "I hate the idea that you were thinking that none of us cared about your leaving, especially when it's not true. I guess I shouldn't try to speak for Ziva, given the current situation, but... I just didn't want to try and make what I wanted more important than what you wanted. I mean, it would have been good for your career and I thought that was something you cared about."

"It was," Tim said. "Key word being _was_."

"You don't care about moving up?"

"I do, but not enough...to leave. Delilah thought I was crazy, but I wouldn't have met her, either. All in all, I feel like I didn't give up much in order to get a lot more."

Tony judged that Tim was relaxing a little, maybe open to hearing it again.

"I didn't want you go, Tim...unless it was what _you_ wanted. Then, I would have kept myself from saying anything. I'm sorry that I went too far in keeping my thoughts to myself."

Tim smiled a little. "Figures. You think you're helping and all I get is nothing."

Tony laughed.

They eased into silence for a while and then, the Corn Palace signs started showing up. Tony looked at Tim. Tim noticed but he didn't say anything for a while. Like Wall Drug, this was a location that could bring back bad memories, although Tim had appreciated it.

As they got closer and closer to Mitchell, there were still more signs for the Corn Palace.

"We should drive by the Corn Palace and see what the mosaics are this year," Tim said, finally.

"You sure you want to?"

"I don't want to go in, but I'd like to see the outside since it changes every year."

Tony smiled. "Okay. Me, too."

When the exit came up, Tony took it and headed for the Corn Palace. The mosaics had indeed changed. It now read _WE CELEBRATE_ with smaller individual mosaics of hearts, crosses, and even a couple of palm trees.

"They're nice," Tim said.

"We should get something to eat here."

"Yeah."

Tim looked at the mosaics for a little while longer and then he nodded.

"And I'll drive when we get going again."

"Okay."

Tony could tell that Tim wanted to do that to show his recovery. He could drive this time, unlike last year.

They got something to eat in Mitchell and then, Tim took over the driving. They talked about inconsequential things for the last couple of hours before they got to Darwin, but finally, after driving nine hours that day, they got to Darwin, Minnesota.

"Okay. Here we are," Tim said. "Navigate me to the ball of twine. You know, we could still drive on to Brainerd, today."

"Sounds good to me," Tony said.

They found their way to the town center. Prominently displayed, was a large gazebo. They could see the ball of twine inside it.

"Here we are."

Tim parked the car and they got out and walked over to it.

"It weighs 8.7 tons," Tim said, reading the information. "And it's 11 feet high."

"That's a lot of twine," Tony said. "Okay. Pictures."

Tim smiled. They took turns posing by the ball of twine, pretending to push it or lift it or other goofy poses. They didn't linger but got back in the car and drove on to Brainerd to visit Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox.

When they got to Brainerd, Tony navigated them to the statue, at a place called Paul Bunyan Land.

"I didn't realize it was a theme park," Tim said.

"You want to go play on the rides?"

"Not really. Maybe another time."

Tony laughed. He wasn't really thinking that they'd go in. This seemed more of a kid place, and it was getting late; so the park would probably be closing soon, anyway.

"Fine by me. As long as we get pictures with the statues."

Tim smiled and nodded.

They got someone to take their pictures with Babe and Paul. Then, it was time to decide what they were going to do next.

"Okay, so do we want to push on to Hayward tonight and get a hotel there?" Tim asked. "Or do we stay here in Brainerd and go on tomorrow morning?"

"Let's eat something here and if there are hotels in Hayward, we can go on tonight. It'll get us there late, but it'll get us further along."

"Okay. Sounds good to me."

They found a place to eat. While they were there, Tim did some searching and found a few good options for hotels in Hayward. It'd be late, but it was worth it to get a little farther tonight. Neither of them mentioned it, but they didn't have unlimited time off and they needed to get back to DC in a reasonable amount of time.

Tony took over driving for the last leg. For the first hour, pretty much the only sound in the car was the radio. Then, Tony took one more chance. He wasn't sure about it, but he was still curious...and the road was mostly empty and the way not all that exciting.

"Tim, can I ask you a question?"

Tim had been staring vacantly out the window. Tony thought he might have been almost asleep.

"Sorry...I wasn't listening. What did you say?" Tim asked.

"Can I ask you a question," Tony repeated.

"Oh." Tim laughed a little. "As long as it's not about Japan."

Tony laughed, too.

"It's not. I promise."

"Okay. Go ahead."

"Why do you have the pictures from our last road trip on your tablet?"

"How did you know I did?" Tim asked.

"I was going to play a game on your tablet when we were in Cawker City. I couldn't sleep. I wasn't trying to pry."

Tim sighed.

"Really, Tim, I wasn't. It wasn't even on my mind...but I did see them and I can't pretend that I didn't. Why? They're mostly depressing."

"Yeah, they are."

"So why keep them? Why have them on this trip?"

"I hadn't really planned on having them on the trip, but it's fitting, I think."

"Fitting?"

"Yeah. They're depressing. They're reminders of how miserable that last road trip was. I'm replacing the depressing pictures with goofy ones. I'm replacing the bad memories with good ones."

"So...you're going to delete the pictures when you get back?"

"I don't know. I thought about it, but at the same time...maybe I shouldn't be so quick to ignore all that. It was miserable, but good things came out of it. So...I don't know if I'll keep them all, but I will keep some."

Tony thought about that.

"I haven't even looked at them since the trip, I have to admit," he said.

"I hadn't really, either. I looked once and they were as depressing as I thought they would be...but they show that I got better."

"Well, of course, you did."

"It wasn't always a foregone conclusion, Tony. Even after I left the hospital, I had days... That's why I try not to think about it too much. To me, it wasn't just a matter of recovering. At my worst, I was so afraid that I'd get someone killed that I couldn't fathom feeling any differently. I knew I shouldn't, but it was how I felt, whether I should or not."

A passing car illuminated Tim's face for a moment. He seemed pensive.

"And now?"

"Now, that's mostly just a bad memory, but I still have nightmares about it sometimes. My shrink says that, as long as I don't let them take over, I should accept that they'll happen and I'll be much less likely to have the problems than I would be otherwise."

"How often do you have them, Tim?"

Tim shrugged, and while it was obviously slightly-feigned nonchalance, there really wasn't as much distress as Tony might have expected.

"Pretty often, but not so much that it interferes with my life."

"Does Delilah know about all that?"

"A little bit, not everything. I don't feel like that much sharing is warranted quite yet. Give it a few months. And before you ask, no, I'm not hiding it from her. It's just not something that's come up. We're not rushing into divulging deep, dark secrets."

Tony smiled. Tim's approach to relationships was interesting. How he and Abby had _ever_ managed to date was beyond his ken. However, this probably wasn't the right time to ask about _that_.

"So...is it working?"

"Is what working?"

"Trying to replace the bad memories with good ones."

Tim laughed a little.

"Mostly. Like I said, I can't forget it all, and I probably shouldn't try. You know what they say about those who forget the past."

"I don't think you'd repeat this," Tony said seriously.

"I don't, either, but I wouldn't have thought I'd have a breakdown like I did, either. It's one of those things."

Silence fell again, and Tony couldn't help but compare Tim to how he'd been last year, and really, there _was_ no comparison. It was like night and day. If he was finding out that Tim still had some little struggles, it wasn't like it meant a relapse.

"I'm really impressed, Tim," he said finally. "...and a little jealous."

"Impressed about what...and _jealous_ about what?" Tim asked.

"Impressed that you really _are_ so far along...and jealous that your life seems to be what you want it to be."

"Yours isn't?"

"Well, how it is currently isn't exactly what I'd had in my plans."

"If it makes you feel any better, my life isn't exactly how I planned it, either. I like it, don't get me wrong, but it's not really what I'd planned for myself if you'd asked me about it a few years ago."

"I guess I need a new plan," Tony said.

"I guess so. Nothing wrong with that, you know. If you'd asked teenager me what I was going to be doing with my life, it wasn't realistic in the slightest. That's what life is about. You get experience and...and you modify what you want. Those people who say that you just have to follow your passion wherever are full of it. If your passion is going to help you earn a living, then, good for you, but for most people, they have to create passion in the job they have. No one is always going to be happy with what they're doing...or at least, very few will. Most of us have days we want to give up and not deal with it. ...but that's fine...as long as we keep going."

Tony grinned, even though Tim wouldn't be able to see his expression.

"That what your shrink says?"

Tim chuckled. "More or less. It's not an original thought, but I do agree with it. How many people like unclogging a toilet? I mean, really. How many?"

"I don't know. I know _I_ don't."

"But it's necessary. If it doesn't get done, we have real problems. So we still have to have people who will do those jobs, whether it's their passion or not. What people who say that we just have to follow our passions really mean is that _they_ want to follow _their_ passions while being supported by everyone else."

"Seems like _you_ feel pretty passionate about this, Tim," Tony said.

"I may have thought about it a bit."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's just that...following a passion can get pretty easily corrupted into something else...and that could be dangerous. Look at Dearing. His passion was for his son and when he lost him..."

"Ah."

"And it's late and my mouth is running off a bit because I'm tired."

"How much further do we have to go?"

Tim picked up the GPS.

"Only about twenty miles, it says."

"Good. I'm ready to be done driving."

"Yeah, me, too."

Silence fell again (except for the radio) and it wasn't until they got to Hayward that they spoke again. Tim gave directions to the hotel they'd chosen and they got a room.

They gathered their stuff and went in. With only a minimum of preparation, they fell into their respective beds and went to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Tim woke up first, but he'd slept well. Thank goodness. He didn't often have two bad nights in a row, but it had happened before.

He lay there and thought about all the questions Tony had asked him yesterday. In reality, he hadn't thought about the possible transfer to Japan for months. Dearing and all his problems after him had managed to knock most of his former concerns out of his head. Tony's questions had brought all that back again, and it had actually been kind of nice to have Tony tell him that they _would_ have missed him if he had chosen to leave.

Still, the last thing that had been on his mind with regard to this road trip had been talking about his own issues. He didn't want this to be about him again.

Today, though, should just be fun. They'd be seeing the fiberglass muskie and the giant penny in Woodruff. Then, it was another 13 hours to get to Chester, Ohio. They were going to have to do that drive today because, no matter how long it was, they couldn't waste another full day sitting around. It would just be a very long day of driving.

He stretched and sat up.

"You ready to see the big fish, Tim?"

Tim turned and smiled.

"Absolutely. Are you?"

"Since I don't know what a muskie even looks like, big _or_ small, I figure I'm ready."

"Okay. There's a free continental breakfast here. I figure we should have it before going. No sense in paying for something we can get free."

"Sounds great to me."

They got ready for the day, ate breakfast, and headed out to find the big fiberglass fish. It was part of the Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame.

It definitely stood out. Four stories high. Nearly as long as a city block.

"Wow," Tony said. "That is a big fish."

They stood and stared at it.

"I can't believe how big this thing is," Tim said. Then, he noticed that there was a platform inside the fish's mouth. "Okay, Tony. Go and get in its mouth!"

Tony looked at him.

"Go on! Run!" Tim ordered and grinned.

Tony saluted and took off to the steps, leading inside the fish. Tim waited. It took a little time for Tony to get up to the walkway in the mouth of the muskie. Tim took some photos of the whole fish while he waited. Then, Tony was leaning over the railing, acting like the muskie was eating him. Tim took photos.

"MCGEE! Come up here! Your turn!" Tony shouted down at him.

Tim nodded and took off to the stairs. He ran inside the muskie and up to the mouth, taking pictures as he went.

"This thing is _huge_!" he said.

"Yeah. Totally. Okay. I'm running down to take your picture inside the mouth."

Tony ran down and out of the muskie. Tim waited for him, taking pictures of the great views from the height that they got. It was just barely not too high for him to get the willies. Tony took some pictures and then, Tim ran down to join him.

"This is so cool! And I don't even like fishing," Tony said.

"Same here. I wasn't sure if a fiberglass fish would be at all interesting, but this is cool," Tim said.

"Okay. Let's get going to the penny. It's going to be close to midnight when we get to Chester no matter what we do."

Tim nodded. They had known that this would be the worst leg of the trip, but 13 hours or not, they had to get it done. They could, conceivably stop somewhere sooner, but it would be better to have a shorter drive for the last leg. Then, they could have Sunday to recover and get back to work on Monday.

They walked back to the car and headed for Woodruff. It was about two hours' drive from Hayward. When they got there, they followed the directions to the penny, parked and got out. They walked over to the penny.

"Hey! It's not a real penny!" Tony said. "It's concrete!"

Tim walked around it.

"Yeah, there's not even a back to it. Just a front."

Tony's brow furrowed for a moment. Then, he grinned.

"It's still huge. So it's cool. Pictures!"

Tim posed as if he was trying to lift the penny. Then, Tony acted like he was trying to roll the thing off its pedestal. Then, they grabbed someone nearby to take a picture of them both on either side of it.

They didn't want to linger too long with the penny; so they hurried back to the car and started the _long_ drive to Chester, their last stop.

Tony was the driver to start, but Tim definitely wouldn't let him be the only driver today. The ride would be long. Tim got out the atlas and started looking through their route as Tony eased them out onto the interstate again.

"Our route takes us right through Chicago," Tim said. "That's going to be a pain no matter what time of day it is."

"Yeah. ...hey! Let's go to the Sears Tower!" Tony said, suddenly.

"Huh?"

"The Sears Tower! I've always wanted to see the view from up there."

"In downtown Chicago," Tim said.

"Yep."

"Meaning that we'll be driving in Chicago during rush hour."

"Uh-huh."

"You're out of your mind!" Tim said.

"That's possible," Tony said with an unrepentant grin.

Tim looked at the atlas. He thought about it. This would mean a _huge_ pain getting out of Chicago...along with a million other people. He had been about to suggest that they try to go _around_ Chicago, even if it ended up taking the same amount of time.

Still, he'd never been to the Sears Tower, either. It could be neat. ...but this day was already going to be _so_ long.

...but Tony wanted to go, and this was supposed to be something Tim was doing for him, even if Tony would balk at it being described like that.

"Okay, but if we do that, you're driving us out of Chicago. Then, I'll take the rest of the way to Chester."

"Yes! All right. Figure out our route, McNavigator."

Tim smiled. He hadn't heard McNicknames in a while. As he picked up the GPS to program in the route to Sears Tower, he had a sudden wave of nostalgia as he remembered a movie from his childhood.

"Did you ever watch _Flight of the Navigator_?" he asked.

"Hmmm...Eighties show?"

"Yeah. It was something like...85 or 86."

Tony considered for a few seconds.

"Kid gets abducted by aliens."

"One alien...although there are others."

"I know I watched it, but I don't remember everything about it."

"I loved that movie," Tim said.

"I didn't think you really watched them."

"Not many, but...my dad took me to see it in the theater. I still remember it. He came home from work early one day. He looked at me and said... 'Let's go to the movies.' It was just a spontaneous moment, and it was just him and me. We went to the theater and he asked me which movie I wanted to see. I picked _Flight of the Navigator_. I don't know what _he_ thought of it, but it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I liked it a lot more than _The Last Starfighter_."

"Hey, I saw that one. I loved it."

" _Flight of the Navigator_ was better," Tim said with a grin.

"Oh, come on! You have big space battles. The Music Man being an alien. A kid who was nothing becoming someone really important. He goes off at the end to be a starfighter! What happens to the kid in _Flight of the Navigator_?"

"He flies around with Max, gets captured by evil scientists, and at the end, travels back in time to the moment he first got abducted...and learns a very important lesson," Tim said.

"Space battles win out over important lessons," Tony said. Then, he glanced over. "Did your dad know how much you liked it?"

"Yeah. He did. I told him often enough. He may even have ended up regretting taking me. I was talking about it for weeks after, about how cool it was that my dad had taken me to the movies, even when he was busy with everything else he had going on."

"How is he doing?"

"He's fine. Every so often, I think he's been sick and won't tell me, but he hasn't had any clots for quite a while and that's good."

Tony nodded.

"What about _your_ dad?" Tim asked, changing the conversation.

"Ah, who knows. I'm sure he's fine. If he wasn't, he'd be telling me about it. Dad doesn't come by when things are going well."

"Does it bug you?" Tim asked.

"Not really. Not anymore. We're not close, never really have been. That's not going to change, and really...he's my dad, but that doesn't mean much. I've always had friends instead. After Mom died I had friends and movies. Dad wasn't interested in being a father, but he wasn't mean about it."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Really, Tim. I'll take my dad being distant over what some people get."

"That's why you always wanted to take a family trip to Mount Rushmore?"

"Well, that's what's supposed to happen, but I knew it wasn't going to. I got over it."

"Did you really?" Tim asked.

Tony looked at him again. For a moment, Tim thought that Tony might get annoyed, but then, he just shrugged.

"I guess not completely. I just accepted that it wasn't happening and figured I'd go some other time. And I was right," he said with a smile. "I did go."

Tim smiled back and returned his attention to the GPS. He smiled a little at what he saw.

"Uh-oh, Tony. We can't go to the Sears Tower."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not called that anymore."

"It isn't?"

"Nope. Now, it's called the Willis Tower."

"Willis? I'm guessing it's not named after Bruce?"

"I doubt it."

"Well, given the kinds of movies Bruce Willis has been in, it may be asking for trouble to name a building after him."

Tim laughed.

"We're still going, Probie. No weaseling out of it just because of a pesky name change."

"Okay, okay. It's in there. We have about five and a half hours to go."

"Okay. I'm ready for that. Are you?"

"Sure."

The drive down to Chicago was boring at first, but the closer they got, the busier the roads got, the less boring the drive was. Tim had been to Chicago before, but never just to stop and sightsee.

And, of course, they were going into downtown right before rush hour. Tim still wasn't sure why he'd agreed to this, but if Tony was willing to drive...

"Okay, Tim, help me figure out where to park," Tony said.

"Sure, okay."

Tim started looking through the GPS.

"Look for West Van Buren Street. It's only about a tenth of a mile from the tower and it's only eight bucks."

"Sounds good to me."

"It's the South Wacker Lot."

"Wacker?" Tony repeated.

"Yeah."

"Fun name. Wacker. Wacker. Wacker."

Tim chuckled. "Just focus on the road, Tony."

"Okay, okay, McCrabby."

Tony got to the lot and found a space. Then, they headed for the tower.

"There it is! Sears Tower!" Tony said.

"Willis Tower," Tim corrected.

"Oh, shut up. Don't be so logical about it. Let's go up the tower."

"Okay."

They bought their tickets and got in line. Then, it was up 103 floors to the Skydeck. They looked at a few of the displays, but it was the view that they wanted.

...or rather, it was what _Tony_ wanted. Tim wasn't really excited about the height. Still, he couldn't deny that the view should be amazing. It was such a tall building.

Really high up there.

 _Really_ high.

Tim swallowed and tried not to let Tony see that he was starting to feel that irrational fear of heights welling up. There were times when he managed to avoid it because he _knew_ it was irrational. Sometimes, he could ignore it or just focus on something else. It wasn't like it made any sense.

_Except that when you fall from heights, that's the end._

"Hey! Look! There's a glass floor!" Tony said.

"Oh," Tim said.

"Cool! Come on!"

Tim followed Tony, but he made sure he didn't step onto the glass floor.

"Take my picture, Tim!" Tony said.

Tim did so.

"Your turn!"

"Oh...no... Tony. I..."

"Come on!"

"Heights and I don't get along, Tony," Tim said. "I don't..."

"Oh...I forgot." Tony looked back at the glass floor. "Want to try it, anyway?"

"Honestly?"

Tony grinned.

"Come on, Tim! This is your chance to conquer your fear!"

"By standing on a glass floor and staring down hundreds of feet?" Tim asked. "I don't think so."

"Come on, Tim," Tony said in his best cajoling voice. "When will you ever get this chance again?"

"Never, and that's a _good_ thing from where I'm standing...which is where I want to _keep_ standing."

Tony grabbed Tim's arm and began pulling him toward the glass floor.

"Tony! Stop it! You're acting like a little kid! I don't want to stand on the glass floor!"

"Yes, you do. You know you do. You're just letting a pesky little irrational fear stand in your way. I'm helping you not let it stand in your way."

"I _want_ it to stand in my way! Knock it off!"

Tim pulled back, but Tony had caught him off guard by actually trying to force him onto the glass floor. He couldn't keep himself planted securely and before he knew it, he was staring down.

One hundred and three floors.

Straight down.

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to back away from the space, but Tony wouldn't let him.

"Okay, Tim. Don't look down. Look _out_."

"Out at what?" Tim asked.

"The view!"

"I could see the view fine from solid ground."

"You're on solid ground. You can just see through it. So don't look down. Look out. It's a much better view."

Tim shook his head.

"I'm not opening my eyes until I'm on nontransparent flooring."

"Come on. You know that you'll never forgive yourself if you don't look once from here. You'll start kicking yourself and regretting it."

"I'll start kicking _you_ if you don't let me off here," Tim said.

Tony laughed.

"You'll start kicking yourself because you had the chance to really look at the city and you never did just because you were afraid. That's the way you are, Tim. You know it. I know it."

"I think I can live with that," Tim said.

"Sure, but you can also live with looking, and you'll be happier in the long run."

Tim grimaced.

"So open your eyes and look out at the city with no obstructions!"

Tim sighed.

"I'm not letting you move until you open your eyes and look. And there are people waiting, Tim! Stop being so selfish."

"What?"

Tim opened his eyes and glared at Tony who was grinning triumphantly. He grabbed Tim by the shoulders and turned him around.

"Look at the city, Tim!"

Tim had no choice. He looked.

Out, _not_ down.

And it was spectacular. Skyscrapers all around and then, the lake behind them, sparkling in the late afternoon sun.

"See?" Tony said.

Tim didn't want to say anything because as soon as he did, he'd start thinking about...

The spell was broken and he remembered that he was standing on a transparent glass floor, suspended over a thousand feet above the ground. If this floor broke...

He took a deep breath and stepped back, back to the more solid-feeling ground.

Tony smiled at him and walked off the glass floor.

"Was I right?"

"It's a great view, Tony, but if you ever make me walk on a glass floor again, I may have to kill you," Tim said, trying to hide his slight shaking.

Tony just grinned and slung his arm around Tim's shoulders. He led him to the elevator so they could go back down.

"I'm not sorry," he said.

"Why am I not surprised," Tim muttered.

Still, he couldn't be mad about it. It was too great an experience, and since Tony clearly wouldn't feel bad, either, there was no point in getting angry.

They left Willis Tower, walked to the car and Tim made Tony drive out of Chicago. It was now the height of rush hour. The streets were packed with cars.

"You want to try to eat in Chicago?" Tony asked.

"No. I think we'd be better off to wait until we're out of the city. We can just stop and grab some fast food or something we can eat in the car. We still have hours to go. So get us out and then, I'll take over."

"Yeah, sure. Make me do the bad driving."

Tim grinned. "It was _your_ idea, and I'm still shaking from your torture."

"You loved it and you know it."

Tim stuck out his tongue and then got the GPS to help them navigate through the concrete jungle.

"Thanks, Tim," Tony said as they started the drive again.

Tim looked at him. "You're welcome."

It took an hour to get out of Chicago, but they made it and stopped at a burger place to eat. They decided to eat in the restaurant since they'd be in the car for a long time no matter what they did. Then, Tim took over driving as they made their way steadily toward Chester, Ohio.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

It was well after midnight by the time they got near to Chester. Tim was really tired. Tony was tired. All they wanted was a place to sleep.

"Are you still awake, Tim?"

Tony had asked that probably twenty times in as many minutes.

"No," Tim said. "I'm asleep."

"Ha ha."

"Find a hotel or else I might not be joking."

Tony gave directions to a hotel in Logan, a few miles from Chester. They were relieved to see that there were rooms available. They got one, dragged their stuff into the room and then fell asleep without even changing their clothes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Snoring woke him up. Loud, obnoxious snoring.

Tony sat up and was ready to berate Tim for being so annoying, but then, he stopped himself.

How often was it that Tim was actually able to sleep all the way through the night like he obviously had? For the moment, Tony decided that he'd have pity on the guy and let him sleep longer...even if his snoring sounded like trucks downshifting on the highway.

Tony looked at the clock. They'd both slept in. Luckily, they only had a six-hour drive today. They'd make it back in plenty of time.

He got out of bed and headed for the shower. If Tim was still snoring when he got out, Tony would show him no mercy.

He took his time in the shower. It was nice to have the feeling of not being in a rush. The entire trip had been a _little_ rushed. Not extremely, but they had to get back to DC, and now, they knew they'd be back on time, easily.

When Tony got out of the shower, Tim was still snoring loudly. He was lying on his back, one arm flung above his head and his mouth hanging open. Sure, it would be nicer if he just woke him up, but where was the fun in that?

Tony grabbed one of the pillows from his bed and threw it at Tim.

He still had great aim. The pillow hit Tim right in the face and he woke up with a jolt.

"Wha–? Who? Where?"

"Come on, McSnorer. We're burning daylight."

Tim was not quite awake enough to retort.

"Huh? What?"

Tim yawned widely and then looked at Tony.

"You threw a pillow at me."

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"Because you were snoring."

"I don't snore."

"Yeah, you do, McGee. You were so loud I'm surprised we didn't have people pounding on the door, telling us to turn off the jackhammer."

"Ha ha. What time is it?"

"Nearly eight."

"Oh. Pretty late. Well..." Tim yawned again. "I guess it's time to get up."

"That's right, McLazy. Get moving!"

Tim just smiled and got out of bed. He walked toward the bathroom and then, suddenly, he smacked Tony right in the face with a pillow. Before Tony could react, Tim laughed and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

"You have to come out of there sometime, Tim!" Tony called.

"But not yet!"

Tony grinned and sat down to wait. He debated whether or not he'd hit Tim with the pillow again, but in the end, he decided against it. They'd each got the other once. Another hit would be asking for retaliations all day long, and while that could be fun sometimes, right now, he just wanted to see the big teapot and get home.

Tim came out of the bathroom, a bit warily, but Tony just laughed at him. They packed their stuff and headed out to get something for breakfast. They ate and then, Tim got out the GPS to guide them to the teapot.

"Hey...Tony," Tim said, sounding a little confused.

"Yeah?"

"Did you know that there's a Chester, West Virginia?"

"No. Why?"

"Because everything I'm seeing says that the teapot is in Chester, West Virginia, not Chester, Ohio."

"You've got to be kidding. How did you make _that_ mistake?"

"I have no idea," Tim said.

Tony looked at him and could see that Tim was actually a little bothered by it.

"Huh."

They were both quiet for a minute. Then, Tim actually looked worried.

"What do you want to do?"

Tony forced himself to laugh. He didn't want to end this trip on a sour note, and he really didn't want Tim to feel like he'd screwed up. Of course, he _had_ , but it wasn't really a big deal.

"Well...how far is it from Chester to Chester?"

Tim plugged that in.

"About three hours."

"And how far is it to home from there?"

Tim grimaced. "More than four. We have to backtrack quite a bit to get there."

"Hey, it was going to take us more than five just to get home, anyway," Tony said. "We can't pass up on seeing the teapot! That's the only Ducky thing we're seeing!"

Tim laughed. "I'm really sorry, Tony. I have no idea how those two cities got crossed in my..."

"Don't worry so much, Tim!" Tony said. "It's no biggie. We add a couple of hours to the trip, but that's all...and we still see the teapot."

Tim didn't look convinced.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'll let you drive to the right Chester."

"I just didn't want to end with something going wrong. We started off on the wrong foot, too."

Tony slugged Tim on the shoulder.

"Don't make such a big deal out of this, Tim. It happens, and I don't mind. This trip has been a blast. Don't make it a downer just because there happened to be two Chesters so close together. How many cities named Chester can there be in the U.S.?"

"I don't know."

"You want to drive?"

"Sure. I'll drive."

"Good. And I forbid you to beat yourself up over this, especially when it doesn't really matter. We'll still have a whole day to recover from the trip. Stop worrying!"

Tim nodded. Tony could tell that he was trying not to be disappointed by this rather major mixup. He didn't blame Tim for being a little embarrassed, not even for being a _lot_ embarrassed. Two cities with the same name in two different states? What were the odds? It's not like he'd have been fooled if it had been Chester, Idaho, or something like that. But the two cities were only a few hours apart. Of all the luck.

Tim got in the driver's seat and started them out of town. Since they'd actually stayed in Logan, Ohio, not the actual city of Chester, they had a completely different route. Tony checked the GPS and then, he looked up.

"Hey! Tim, stop the car!"

"What?"

"Just pull over!"

Tim did as Tony said, but he looked confused.

"Why?"

"Look at that!" he said, pointing down the street.

Tim looked and he started to smile.

Attached to the side of a building, as if it was just supposed to be there, was a humongous washboard. Of all the things they could have seen randomly while driving...

"I don't have a clue why there's a huge washboard there," Tony said, "but we're getting pictures."

"Okay," Tim said, his smile widening to a grin. "I'm in."

"You mean you're out," Tony said and opened the car door. They hurried down the street and took pictures.

They accosted someone on the street and got them to take a picture of the two of them, standing in front of what they found out was the largest washboard in the world.

By the time they got back to the car, the rather dour aura was gone. Tim got back in the driver's seat and they headed toward Chester, West Virginia... _not_ Chester, Ohio. Compared to their longer drives, three hours was nothing and they were enjoying the drive. Tim even put the top down again.

When they got to Zanesville, they had their second surprise. As they were driving, they came upon a bridge shaped like a Y as it went over two different rivers. It wasn't at all what they'd expected. They had to stop and get pictures again, although this one was harder to photograph. Again, they found out that the bridge was the only one of its kind in the world.

Go figure.

On they went until finally, there was Chester, West Virginia. Tony navigated them to the teapot.

And there it was.

Their final stop.

They got out of the car and walked over to the large structure.

"It's 12 feet high," Tim said.

"Looks like it," Tony said.

"And look. It even has Chester, _West Virginia_ , painted on it," Tim said, ruefully.

"And look at how big it is," Tony said. "And look at what we got to see because you got it wrong! A huge washboard and a Y-shaped bridge. I'm totally okay with getting off course. Now, Probie, get over there and pour. Make sure you keep your pinky up."

"Isn't the pinky thing supposed to be when you're drinking, not pouring?"

"I don't know. I'm not Ducky," Tony said. "Keep your pinky up anyway!"

Tim gave in and walked over to the handle of the teapot. He grabbed hold of it with one hand and put his pinky up as ordered. Then, he wrapped his arms around the handle...and put both his pinkies up.

"Very refined, Tim," Tony said. "Now, you can take my picture."

"All right."

Tony walked over to the pot and posed under the spout, as if he was being burned.

"Classy, Tony," Tim said.

"I wasn't being classy. I was being burned by scalding hot water, Probie!"

Tim laughed.

They finished up their pictures and then it was time to go back to the car.

...and head home.

Just five more hours and they'd be finished with the road trip.

Tony got in the driver's seat.

"I could keep driving, Tony," Tim said.

"Yeah, but you got to start out the trip. I get to finish."

"Okay."

And the last leg of the trip began. They talked without any particular topic in mind, flitting from subject to subject. They stopped to get gas and some snacks. They had the radio on, the top down, and Tim had started dozing.

Then, Tony had one more idea.

"Hey, Tim. Wake up!"

As he said that, he was suddenly struck by how different this was from the last trip. Waking Tim up had meant another indication of how wrong everything was, but this time, it was just one last little piece of fun before the trip was over.

Tim jumped and opened his eyes.

"I wasn't asleep!" he said.

"Yeah, you were, McDroopy."

"What is it? Are we there?"

"Almost. One more stop."

Tim furrowed his brow.

"What am I missing?"

Tony pulled over and stopped the car.

"The trip isn't over until we get home. We need a picture."

"Of what?" Tim asked.

Tony pointed down the block.

Tim looked and grinned.

_Welcome to Washington, DC_

"Right," he said.

They ran down the block to the sign and took turns snapping photos.

Then, they ran back to the car and jumped in. Tim took over for the last little bit. It wasn't a long drive to get to Tony's place. When they got there, Tim popped open his trunk so that Tony could get his stuff out.

"Well...we survived," Tim said.

Tony smiled.

"Yeah."

Then, that slightly worried expression came onto Tim's face again and Tony knew what was coming. He stopped Tim from saying it.

"I had a lot fun, McGee. Stop worrying."

Tim laughed self-consciously.

"Sorry. I promise that I won't worry anymore."

Tony laughed. "Now that the trip is over, you mean?"

"Exactly."

"It was a great idea, Tim. I needed the vacation, and it was fun. Now...if you don't mind, I'm going to go inside...and sit all by myself."

"That sounds like a good plan. I think I'll go home and do that, too."

"And call Delilah?"

"Not tonight. Tonight, I'm going to just be all by myself. Not driving."

"Sounds good. See you on Monday."

"Yeah."

Tim got back in his car and Tony watched him drive off. Then, he went in. He tossed his bag full of dirty clothes onto the bed to deal with later and he sat down on the couch, but he didn't turn on the TV. He just sat quietly for about an hour.

Vacations were fun, but there was always a sense of relief to be _not_ traveling once all the traveling was done. He and Tim had driven nearly 5,000 miles in just over a week's time. That was a _lot_ of traveling.

As he sat and thought about everything they'd done, he also thought about what had prompted Tim to suggest the trip in the first place.

Ziva.

Funny how she could still loom so large even though she was gone. And yet, while Tony couldn't honestly say he was over all that, this trip had helped. Talking about it had helped. Admitting that he himself was confused about what he felt and why he was bothered by it all had helped. Strange that just talking about something could be so helpful. Tony thought about that and he thought that maybe he should keep it up, at least for a while. How he would manage that without making Tim regret it was still up in the air, but he figured that he had the time.

Then, he opened his wallet and pulled out a picture.

It was Ziva. She hadn't been looking at him when he'd taken the photograph. He couldn't remember what she _had_ been looking at, but there was a softness to her expression that he had never really seen in her eyes when she'd looked at him.

 _There never was an us,_ he thought.

It was hard to admit it, but it was true. There had been a few brief moments when they had been friends, but most of the time, they had simply been too prickly or the timing had been completely wrong for anything else.

It was time to let the fantasy go.

Tim had left the Badlands of his own experiences behind. He still struggled with them a little, as Tony had seen, but he'd left them behind.

Tony decided that he needed to do the same. It would take time, but he was ready to start the process.

Decision made, he got up, put the picture of Ziva in a drawer that he rarely opened, and then, decided to start washing his dirty, smelly clothes.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim got home and took his things inside. He sighed with relief at having got through it all. While he'd promised Tony that he wouldn't worry anymore, there was still a small part of him that _did_ worry. Just a little. He couldn't help but worry just a little bit. Had this really helped Tony at all? He'd said he had fun, but had it helped? Tim didn't know for sure.

_Stop it, Tim. Stop overanalyzing everything. Just be glad it went well and you didn't kill each other after being in the same space for a week._

Tim smiled. Sometimes, it still shocked him that he and Tony managed to be friends at all. Their outlooks on life were so different. He couldn't imagine that they would have been friends had their shared occupations not forced it on them. Even at that, they'd had more than their share of disagreements over the years.

This trip had been...strangely uneventful for all that they'd seen and done so much. There had been no breakdowns, no screaming, no shouting. Just two guys going on a road trip. Sure, they'd talked about some serious things, but at the end of the day, little of any import had happened.

...and as far as Tim was concerned, that was a _good_ thing.

He'd been afraid that going back to some of the same places would throw him back to how he'd been a year ago.

...but it hadn't. He'd gone back to the Badlands and been able to see it for what it was: a place of stark beauty for those who could appreciate it.

He got out his tablet and looked at the pictures he'd saved. All the depressing photos of a very low time in his life. He would be happy to replace them with these new ones.

 _I have a good life,_ he thought.

And that was something he needed to remember.

For now, however, it was time to get the laundry going so that he didn't have to deal with the clothes tomorrow. He got a load going in the washer and then, he lay down on his bed and reveled in the stillness.


	10. Chapter 10

**Epilogue**

_Monday morning..._

Tim and Tony got to work at about the same time.

"So, Tony, what did you do yesterday?" Tim asked.

"I slept in, watched movies and didn't talk to a single person except the pizza delivery guy. It was great. You?"

"I called Delilah."

"Of course, you did. And?"

Tim just grinned.

"Come on!"

"A gentleman never tells," Tim said.

Tony slugged him on the shoulder and they headed inside.

Gibbs was there at his desk. He looked at them both, raised an eyebrow...and then, said nothing.

"No welcome back, Boss?" Tony asked. "I thought you'd miss us!"

"I already miss the quiet," Gibbs said, but there might have been a bit of a smile on his face.

Tim and Tony both laughed as they settled at their desks. Gibbs' phone rang and he answered, listened and then, he walked up to the balcony.

"Gibbs is in a good mood," Tony said.

"Better than him yelling at us for not being here," Tim said. "What do you think we missed?"

"If we'd missed anything important, we wouldn't have missed it. He would have called us and made us come back."

"True."

Gibbs came back down a few minutes later.

"Dead petty officer just fished out of the Potomac. Let's roll."

"On your six, Boss!" Tony said.

They grabbed their bags and followed along behind.

"Hey, Tim," Tony said, pausing for a moment.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for the trip. I needed it."

Tim smiled and nodded.

"You're welcome. I think I needed it, too."

"You coming?" Gibbs asked.

"Coming, Boss!" they said together and ran for the elevator.

FINIS!


End file.
